Let Me Be Your Somebody
by DreaminDaze
Summary: After the series finale, Lilly is in need of comfort. What happens that night, when Scotty shows up at her door? Will her self-preservation tendencies take over, or will she finally let him in? Please read and review.
1. Stuck In A Moment

**This is a little twoshot I came up with as a response to the series finale (or that one episode that will have to serve as a series finale, since Cold Case won't get a proper one) Shattered. I don't know if I got all the details right, nor am I sure how old the baby was, but I hope you enjoy it! LS of course, because they're just such cuties.  
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**Disclaimer: *Sigh* writing these is really quite depressing. I'm running out of creative ways to express how much I _don't _own anything. :(

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Lilly Rush sat on the end of her couch, hugging her knees closer to her chest and suppressing a shiver. Her eyes travelled across her dimly lit kitchen, the hallway to her bedroom, around the living room. She'd been staring blankly at the same few walls since returning to Philly. Nothing looked different, since she'd left it behind 24 hours ago, and yet everything was.

All of a sudden, Lilly had to bite back a bitter laugh. How long ago had she been in this exact same position? Three years. Three years ago when her mother died, drank herself to death with no regard for her little girls she was leaving behind, she'd sat in this exact position, unable to move or think. Is this where her life had travelled? A full circle? Had she learnt nothing in the last few years?

Apparently not.

Christina… Lilly felt an unexpected wave of pain wash over her. The phone on her coffee table was exactly where she'd left it, when she'd put it down gently after hearing the news, reminding her… Christina was dead. Oh God. _Christina_, her sister, died. She _died._

Lilly hadn't asked for details. The doctor on the phone had sounded tired, exasperated, and just too used to this to care. In a way so was she. Or she supposed she was because she just… couldn't bring herself to feel anything. Her sister was dead damn it, and sadness, grief, and tears - everything she was supposed to be feeling - had fallen by the wayside… to be replaced by a much more selfish feeling that Lilly hated herself for.

Loneliness.

Deep, bottom of her soul, lonely.

Because like it or not, Chris was the only family she'd had left. Despite all her flaws, all the times she'd shown up and made everything worse, all the betrayal and hate, they were blood… and you couldn't deny blood. Lilly wanted to slap herself for being so… so _mean_. And cold. For missing her sister because of what she represented - family - not because she loved her.

Lilly blinked the tears out of her eyes, scrubbing furiously at her face, the first sudden movement she'd made in hours. She let her eyes travel over to the soft chair that went with the couch, to the little pink bundle that lay haphazardly on the soft upholstery.

The baby.

The baby that was now hers.

She drew in a deep breath and raised her hands to put them over her ears, rocking slightly and blocking out the soft coos and gurgles of the little person lying innocently across from her. God, that poor baby girl. She'd done nothing wrong except been born into the fractured Rush family. Lilly gripped her hair tightly and bit her lip. What was she going to do? Give her up? Raise her? She didn't know if she was capable of either one of them.

"Lil?" Lilly's head snapped up at the sound of his voice. She didn't need to turn around. She knew who had just come into her house. Just like three years ago. He's going to tell her she left her door unlocked, his voice softly disapproving, and then he's going to sit next to her and whisper a few comforting words that mean nothing. She'll listen without saying a word, then ask him to leave, and he will.

"Left the door unlocked." He muttered softly, moving around to the side of the couch. Despite herself, Lilly felt the corners of her lips turn up in a bitter smile. There it was. She didn't reply.

"You, uh, you okay?" The moment the words were out of his mouth Scotty could sense how meaningless they would be. He raked a hand through his hair, looking down at her still form and wondering if she'd break if he touched her.

Lilly gripped her knees tighter, trying to stop shaking. If she kept trembling then he'd see how wrong everything was, he'd see how _not _okay she was. Her muscles ached from keeping up the façade and she knew that if he didn't leave soon she wouldn't be able to hold on any longer. She could practically feel him longing to put on his Superman cape and swoop in to save her. Lilly couldn't let that happen.

"Scotty I'm alright. Just… leave, okay?" She whispered breathlessly, "Please? Leave?" She added, just a tad desperately.

Her words slammed into Scotty like a brick wall. So this was the route she'd chosen. She was going to shut him out, not let him help her or be there. Anger flared in his chest. He'd just risked his fucking career to bring her sister back, broken all sorts of laws, crossed state lines, almost been killed… and she still didn't trust him? After all that? "No." He found himself saying harshly.

He heard her shocked intake of breath at his loud exclamation and for a moment, he felt bad for startling her… but only for a moment, because after that the frustration once again overtook him. "I ain't leavin' Lil." He affirmed, sitting down defiantly on her coffee table and crossing his arms, "You can keep sittin' there, but I ain't leavin'."

Lilly sighed. This wasn't going the way it went last time. Last time, he'd respectfully backed off when asked, and now… he was so close she could almost feel his warm breath on her cheek. Briefly, she wondered what had changed between them, but she decided not to dwell on it. The first thing she had to do was get him out of her house.

"Christina's dead." She blurted.

_Damn it._ That wasn't what she was supposed to say. Why didn't she ever think before talking? The words out of her mouth always managed to either hurt someone or dump her problems on someone. She could practically feel the shock and pity emanating from Scotty now as he struggled with his own words.

"I'm sorry." He managed, now biting back anger at Christina. At an intellectual level, he knew, it wasn't her fault she was dead, but still… what the hell? He'd seen Lilly when they'd found her sister, tears in her eyes, and anger at the bastard who'd done that to her. In that moment, Lilly had gotten her sister back, and now Christina had died and left her? Just like her mother.

"Don't be, I didn't love her." Lilly said, her rough voice masking the pain behind it. She winced. God, it sounded horrible out loud, didn't it? She let her head drop to her arms, "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

Scotty reached out for her then, placing a hand on her shoulder, hoping the soothing pressure would convince her more than his words would. "Nah." He whispered, "You just… been through some, bad times, with your sister, that's all."

Lilly didn't move, and Scotty could tell she didn't believe a word he was saying. "Hey… look at me." He commanded quietly. He grabbed both her arms, unfolding them from atop her knees and turning her around so that her feet slipped off the couch and she sat facing him. He didn't relinquish her elbows, instead using them to pull her closer. "You are… the kindest, warmest, most… beautiful… person I know."

He ducked his head, trying in vain to meet her eyes. Those eyes… they were often the only way he could get a handle on what she was feeling, and when he saw that they were clouded with pain and regret, he made his move. He shifted from the coffee table to the couch, sitting close next to her and putting an arm around her slim shoulders. He could feel her tense at his movement, and wondered if she was going to shake him off, or punch him in the face, but it seemed this much touching was allowed, at least for now. Scotty leaned back into the couch, bringing her with him and sending up a silent prayer that this wasn't too much.

"I… don't have anybody left." She said brokenly, again feeling the pressure of tears in the back of her eyes.

Scotty closed his eyes, feeling her pain wash over him. "Oh Lil." He murmured into her hair, "You got me. I'm somebody." Unconsciously, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, something he'd wanted to do for a long time now. "And it's gonna be alright, okay?"

"N-No, no it isn't, Scotty." She snapped, sitting up suddenly and leaving the space underneath his arm cold. "God, why do you always say that? You act like, like you can fix anything. The world isn't like that. _My world_ isn't like that, Scotty. Some things you just _can't_ fix. Some things just won't be alright. So, please, don't just sit there and tell me things are going to be okay when they're not."

Her words grew more and more rushed, while her breathing quickened and Scotty placed a hand on her back, rubbing slow circles until she calmed slightly. He knew she had reached the breaking point. This was the moment where she was no longer able to hold everything back. Scotty wasn't sure how to deal with it, so he continued rubbing circles in the loose material of her shirt, racking his brain for his next words.

She saved him the trouble, "What am I gonna do? " She asked helplessly, gesturing toward the other chair, where Scotty noticed for the first time the little pink blanket… and then he remembered. They'd found a baby, Christina's baby. _Lilly's_ baby now, he guessed.

Scotty got up from the couch, crossing over to the baby in one second and scooping her up into his arms. He marveled for a second at how small and delicate she seemed, before sitting back down next to Lilly. He felt Lilly recoil slightly, but he ignored her trepidation, laying the baby down across both their knees.

Lilly hugged her arms to her chest, looking at him nervously, not knowing what to do. She chewed on her bottom lip and Scotty couldn't help but chuckle. "Go on, touch her." He encouraged gently. When she didn't move, Scotty grabbed her hand and brought it to the baby's cheek, rubbing the tips of her fingers down along to the baby's chin.

She gasped in wonder, looking at Scotty with a mixture of fear and amazement. He smiled at her fully, "Pretty damn amazin', huh?" He asked, and his heart soared at her wavery nod.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, taking turns cuddling the baby girl between them, until Scotty remembered that she'd asked him a question - a question that he now had an answer to. "You're gonna come home with me, okay?"

Lilly's head snapped up, "What?" _Was he really offering… what she thought he was offering?_

Scotty stumbled a bit over his words, "I- you asked, what you're gonna do. An' I dunno much about anythin', but I know I ain't lookin' forward to bein' alone, and you- you're alone here. So… come home with me." He repeated.

"Are you sure?" She asked uncertainly.

Scotty nodded and stood up, giving her a reassuring smile. He looked on as Lilly readjusted the baby in her arms, tugging softly on the pink blanket and positioning the infant delicately over her shoulder. She stood up as well, swaying a little because she'd been sitting there for so long. Scotty wondered for a second whether he'd have to catch her, and the baby, wryly thinking that he wouldn't mind having her in his arms again, but she held her own, and together they walked out the door.

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**Hmm... Scotty + Lilly + Baby ... I wonder what will happen...  
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**As always, review if you feel so inclined and you have a second to leave a few thoughts. I'll try and get the next part up ASAP. **


	2. Never Want To Say It's Love

**Wow! Thanks for all your kind reviews. (: This has sort of turned into a longer story than I expected, just because I couldn't make this chapter end happily, (Lilly and Scotty don't seem like 'smooth ride' types do they?), and we all know I love happy. I don't know how many chapters it will be, but stay tuned for more. I'm posting as I write, so sorry for any long delays. Chapter title by Dido. **

**Disclaimer: So my fiance has been giving me ideas for these. Since I'm always typing away, and I get here and I can't think of anything. This is basically how tonight's conversation went. *I frown* He says, "What's up, baby?" I say, "I can't think of a new way to say how much I don't own Cold Case." *He looks at me weird and pauses* He says, "Is it really necessary? Since everyone knows you'll never have CC?" *I sigh* I say, "People want what they can't have." He says, "Luckily you can have me." *I smile and start typing*

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**Chapter 2: Never Want To Say It's Love**

Lilly fiddled in the back seat of Scotty's car. Since they hadn't had a car seat for the baby, Scotty decided it would be safest if she and Lilly stayed in the back, the seatbelt buckled securely around both of them. It didn't stop him from throwing them both concerned glances every few seconds though. Lilly sighed, he really needed to concentrate on the road, the last thing they needed was a car accident.

"We're okay, Scotty." She bit back a laugh. Hadn't she said that before, and hadn't she been wrong? "Really. This time." Lilly offered him a smile, hoping it would serve as confirmation that she _really_ was fine. Right?

Scotty forced a grin of his own and put his eyes back on the road. Whatever confrontation they would have, whatever decisions needed to be made - they could wait. Scotty decided. The only thing that mattered was that Lilly was in his car, that she'd agreed to go home with him. Fears placated, he pressed his foot harder onto the gas pedal.

Lilly studied Scotty's face furtively from the corner that she could see in the rearview mirror. Conveniently, the only part of him she could see was his right eye. God, the man had beautiful eyes, didn't he? It was the perfectly gorgeous mixture of chocolate and coffee, with the occasional breathtaking specs of golden honey that Lilly had gotten to know over the last 7 years. She'd seen them dark with fury or pain, bright with happiness, or tinted with just a hint of soft tenderness. Sort of like the look he'd had when he'd picked up the baby.

Scotty was so good with the baby, Lilly realized. It was as if he'd been made to be a parent, unlike herself, her sister, her own mother, and any other Rush in the world, she thought ruefully. Just another one of Scotty's qualities, one of those little things that made Lilly love him.

_Love him?_

Lilly frowned. Of course she loved him, she reasoned hastily. They were partners, best friends, they always had each others backs and frankly, he was one of the longest relationships she'd ever had.

_Try again, Rush._ Her brain told her firmly. _You _love_ him, idiot._

Slightly annoyed with her own inner thoughts, Lilly looked out the window. The sun had long disappeared below the horizon and the street lights gave the sidewalk a yellowish glow. It reminded her of the streets of her childhood, the nice ones, during the time her mother was dating a rich man, and the streets were lighted at night. No matter how beautiful the outside looked though, she couldn't even begin to distract herself. Her heart hammered in her chest, bringing her back into the car, with Scotty. Another glance up to the rearview mirror told her exactly what she needed to know.

_Oh._

That sort of love.

_Damn it. _

Lilly almost laughed out loud at her initial response. Classic Lilly really. The slight amusement in the situation pushed the edges of her panic back a little. She knew it was true now, as she continued studying the color in the one eye. She thought of the way she ached alongside him when he came into work with the dark, pained look. She thought of the way the simple childish brightness could make her own blue eyes reflect his happiness. And finally, she thought of how she'd feel if she couldn't see that everyday of her life.

Lost. Devastated. Broken. Sad. Hurt. Wistful.

_I love him?_ She asked cautiously.

_Good girl, Lilly. _Her conscience patted her on the back, satisfied.

Lilly blew out a deep breath at the fateful realization. From the front seat, Scotty snapped to attention, his eyes meeting hers through the small oblong mirror. Lilly felt a blush creep into her pale cheeks as she gave him a small smile. The intensity in his eyes, coupled by the pure uninhibited concern… it made her heart race. She wanted to press her hand to her cheeks to cool them, but Lilly didn't move, for fear of waking the sleeping baby in her arms.

At the mere thought of the baby, Lilly looked down fondly. Sure, they'd been through hell in the past 24 hours, both of them. She'd lost a sister and the little one in her arms, well for better or for worse, she'd lost a mother. Lilly stroked the tiny creature's sleeping face, wondering exactly that. Was it for better? Or worse? God and everyone else knew Christina wouldn't exactly be mom of the year, but neither would she, and this baby needed at least one great parent. One great parent would help her break the cycle, help her not end up either with a boatload of issues like Lilly, or a dangerous, flighty life like Chris's had been.

Scotty would be a great parent.

Lilly pressed her lips together, forcing the thought out of her mind. Scotty wouldn't want this baby. She wasn't his, and in Lilly's experience, if your own family didn't want you… no way a total stranger would. At least the baby had her, Lilly affirmed. She would make sure everything was okay for her niece. "I love you." She whispered, pressing a kiss to the baby's wispy blond hair.

Lilly closed her eyes, not noticing the look Scotty gave her, one full of anything but friendly concern.

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"Don't just stand there near the door Lil." Scotty sighed with exasperation, watching as Lilly hovered uncertainly near the door, never letting go of the baby. "C'mon" He beckoned. When she didn't move, he grasped her elbow and pulled her toward the lighted living room.

Lilly sighed heavily and didn't say anything. How had she not noticed this man before? The way he was taking care of her, the way he looked at her, the way he said her name… Lilly almost felt her knees shaking, and plopped down on the couch before Scotty would notice. The sudden movement must have jarred the baby awake because she started to fuss on Lilly's shoulder.

Lilly threw Scotty a panicked glance, bouncing up and down on the couch, at a loss for what to do. "Oh, don't… please…" She whispered.

Scotty smiled slightly, this he could handle. He gave Lilly a questioning glance, wordlessly begging permission to help her, and she nodded her assent. Taking the baby girl easily from Lilly's arms, Scotty lifted her above his head, both of his hands easily wrapping around the baby's chest. "What's wrong now, huh?" He cooed.

At the baby's wailing cry, he understood. "She's hungry." He informed Lilly matter-of-factly.

"W-what?" Lilly asked, sitting on her hands and biting on her lower lip. _Hungry? Oh yeah. Babies eat. _"Well, what do I - what do we… ?" She asked hesitantly.

Scotty sat down next to Lilly, and to her horror, placed the crying baby back in her arms. "_You, _will stay here, and try not to panic. _I_ will run to the store and get everything we need."

His gently soothing voice calmed Lilly's sudden illogical worry and even managed to pacify the baby, her loud cries dying down to hiccupping sobs. Lilly nodded, her eyes still wide with residual panic. Scotty stood up, kissed the top of both their heads and took one last longing look before hurrying out the door.

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_Damn it! _Scotty griped inwardly, after shutting the door to his apartment. _You can't keep kissin' her like that, or else she's gonna freak out. _He continued to mentally chastise himself as he rode the elevator down to the basement, and got into his car. He had no idea what possessed him to do that. He really didn't. Up until tonight, the extent of his and Lilly's physical contact had been the handshake when they met, a hand on her shoulder, a loose hug… nothing like the crushing embrace he'd held her in, or the sweet feathering kisses on the top of her head.

Oh, he knew why he did it. He wanted to. It was as simple as that. He wanted to hug her, and comfort her, and kiss her, and do other… less PG rated things with her. In fact, Scotty had known for a long time now that he was in love with his partner. He knew it was ridiculous, and he also knew that Lilly, who was physiologically incapable of accepting affection, would never return his feelings. He'd figured all that out a long time ago, had and accepted his epiphany moments, which left days like today - getting to be close to her, to help her in whatever way he could - as the best days of his life.

Sure, he hated this situation. Hated that it hurt her and scared her, but he _loved_ that it meant he got to step in and pretend for a little while that they were on the same page. And if that meant going on a run for mandatory baby supplies, because neither him nor Lilly had ever had a baby in their homes, well so be it.

As he wandered down the aisles of a large department store, Scotty suddenly had an idea. No way Lilly would have baby equipment in her house, and since he was here… Scotty smiled and headed off in search of a crib, among other things.

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Lilly paced around Scotty's living room, attempting to comfort the hungry baby and keep her own panic at bay. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…_ Lilly felt like crying along with the baby at the sudden helplessness she felt. She wasn't cut out for this - for mothering. "Shh… baby, please don't cry…" She whispered frantically. Damn it, where the hell was Scotty?

All she wanted was for the baby to stop crying. Really, that's all that mattered. Was she having… maternal instincts? Lilly froze. That wasn't possible right? She hadn't given birth to this baby; actually she'd just met her the day before. But as she looked into the infant's bright blue eyes, eyes that both she and Christina had inherited, Lilly's only concern was for her well being. "I know…" Lilly cooed into the baby's hair. "He'll be back soon."

Just then the front door banged opened and Scotty burst in, his arms laden with bags and bags of baby supplies. He gave her a reassuring smile and held up a finger for her to wait a second. Lilly breathed a sigh of relief as Scotty approached her with a bottle of formula a few minutes later. He tested the temperature on his wrist and held the bottle out to Lilly. She looked up at him, confusion sweeping over her in waves. How was she supposed to do this?

Scotty, seemingly sensing her cluelessness, chuckled slightly and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around both of them. He readjusted the baby for her and placed the bottle in her hand. In a few seconds, the baby was drinking happily and Scotty could feel Lilly's tense muscle relaxing. He placed both his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging while he led her over to the couch. She sat down willingly, her eyes never leaving the amazing baby before her.

"Scotty?" Lilly raised her eyes to look at him gratefully.

"Yeah?" He asked.

For a moment Lilly searched for words to tell her how thankful she was for his presence. "Thanks." She managed. It seemed horribly insufficient.

Scotty nodded. He didn't bother to hide his disappointment. For a second there, he'd thought she was going to say something else. "Baby's fallin' asleep." He pointed out.

Sighing, Scotty took the baby from Lilly's arms, knowing that she still had a lot to learn. Lilly watched as Scotty cuddled the baby lovingly, then walked away into his bedroom. He returned a few minutes later, "I put her in my bed, just 'til we… build that damn crib that comes in a million pieces." He told her.

Lilly nodded. "You're good with her, y'know?" She whispered. "The baby."

Scotty sat down next to her and laced his fingers behind his head, "Nah, Lil. I'm just… I just… got a lotta nieces and nephews, that's all."

"I-I don't have the first idea on what to do, Scotty." Lilly said, leaning on her knees and burying her hands in her hair. "I mean, this baby… she might as well be an alien, a-a bug."

Scotty laughed. "She's a cute bug." He couldn't help but say.

"So… what do I do with the cute Bug?" She asked with a smile.

Scotty put an arm around her shoulders, tentatively hoping she wouldn't shy away from the contact. "You take care of her, love her, and be there for her." He said matter-of-factly. "I mean, that's all we can do."

"We?" Lilly asked, pulling away from him.

Panic consumed Scotty at the look of confusion in her eyes. "I just… thought if you could use a hand… you could stay a while, y'know? I've got space. And a crib. I bought a crib… and a car seat." Scotty rambled on, "Just figured it isn't safe to always be goin' around without one, a-a car seat, that is… 'specially the, way I drive, an' all."

Lilly stood up. "You don't have to do that. This isn't your problem." She couldn't help the self-preservation that kicked in. Scotty didn't mean what he was saying. He would be there for the cuteness, the beginning, the good parts, just like everyone else in her life. And when things got difficult, like they always did for her… She wouldn't fall for his act and wind up hurt again. No way.

Anger flared in Scotty's chest as her Ice Queen mask slid seamlessly over her face. "_This?_" He repeated with disbelief. "That's a child in there Lilly," He pointed menacingly toward the bedroom. "Not a _problem._"

"I know that." Lilly retorted, her eyes boring holes through his walls.

"Then you know that life ain't about just you anymore." He yelled. "You got a baby, Lil, who needs you."

"Why the hell do you care?" She asked coldly. "The Bug is mine, you're just…" She trailed off, biting her lip to prevent the hurtful words from spilling out of her mouth. Lilly spun around and stared into his fireplace, wanting to bolt out the door. If only he wasn't blocking her way…

"I'm just what." Scotty stated. It wasn't a question; it was a demand, said in a angry voice that scared her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him. His eyes challenged her to just say it.

Fine. If that was what he wanted. "You're just the one who was whoring it out with her mom." She finished. "And just because you were sleeping with her mom, doesn't make you daddy dearest." She added sarcastically.

Scotty stepped back in disbelief, the shock obviously showing on his features. "So we're gonna have this fight again?" He asked rhetorically.

"No." Lilly answered. "I'm gonna leave." She bent down and yanked her purse up with her, slinging it over her shoulder and stalking toward the door without a backward glance. "Don't know why you brought me here if you didn't want me around anyway."

"Me?" Scotty asked, hoping his words would give her pause. "You- you're the one who's leaving."

Lilly stared sadly back at him, turning the doorknob. "You're the one who's not stopping me."

And with that she was gone.

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**So yeah, you know what I meant by a lack of a happy ending. Don't worry. I'm definitely not going to leave them here. Maybe I should change the genre to angst though...  
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**Soooo, since I did _so_ much hard work, writing this, coming up with the disclaimer and all... maybe y'all should leave me a little review? Pretty please? With, tons of goodness, on top? *GRIN***


	3. You Can't Treat Me That Way

**So it's come to my attention that in the last chapter Lilly was... well to put it lightly, a cut throat bitch. Many of you were protesting on Scotty's behalf and in this chapter we'll see that he won't take her crap lying down, not anymore anyways. Lilly has mistakes to atone for, and someone will come along and slap some sense into her in this chapter, which a lot of us wanted to do. I promise though, the next one won't end quite so depressingly. (More chapters for you guys) Good, no?  
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**Just as a side note, "Bug" was meant to be a term of endearment accidentally coined by Scotty and Lilly, in the place of a name because I haven't thought of one yet and I want to make it meaningful. Sorry if that wasn't clear and made it sound like Lilly was insulting the baby or something. **

**Chapter title by Kate Earl. You could say it's Scotty's thoughts at the moment though the lyrics don't really match. **

**Disclaimer: I briefly wondered what the response would be from you guys if I posted Lilly waking up from a dream and realizing the baby, Chris's death, and Scotty's fight with her had all been fake in lieu of this chapter. I actually had the first paragraph written before one of my cats hissed at me and I promptly started writing the real chapter. What was I saying again? Oh yeah... I don't own them.

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**Chapter 3: You Can't Treat Me That Way**

The slamming of his front door startled Scotty with its apparent finality. One minute he'd been staring at Lilly, and the next she was leaving as though none of this mattered. He spun on the spot, finding the nearest open patch of wall and sunk his fist into it. The drywall crumbled beneath the force of his blows as Scotty took out his frustration. His breathing came in short gasps and before long he was simply too tired to keep going. He looked at the hole in his wall, right between the picture of his family and the signed napkin from that Sixers game all those years ago…

The frustration bled out of him as quickly as it came and Scotty let himself slide softly to the floor. He looked up, surveying the damage. That had never happened before, he realized. Sure, over the years his wall had suffered dents and scratches from Scotty's sudden urges to punch things out, but a gaping hole? Never. It almost matched the one in his heart.

Almost.

But not quite.

As much as he wanted to blame himself, which he always managed to find a way to do, this time, Scotty was certain. He'd done everything right. Every last fucking thing… and she'd still left. He'd showed up at her house, brought her to his and offered her help. That's it - _help_ - no strings attached, no pressure, no expectations, and somehow she'd managed to turn it into him having some sort of ulterior motive. The words she'd screamed at him before walking out… just thinking of them made Scotty's heart wrench in pain.

_Just because you were sleeping with her mom, doesn't make you daddy dearest._

Scotty's head dropped to his arms. It wasn't like that… it just wasn't. He loved kids, wanted kids, and just the sight of that baby made protective instincts rise up in him, but as Scotty's eyes trailed to the pile of kids' things lying, haphazardly abandoned, in the hallway, he knew… they were for Lilly. He wanted _Lilly's _baby. And of course, this wasn't the way he'd imagined it, but like it or not, the Bug was Lilly's and that's why his heart had screamed out at him to help in any way he could. Scotty stood up suddenly, the returning frustration giving him energy he hadn't had a second ago.

Why did he have to fall in love with such difficult women? Women he couldn't help, couldn't save, couldn't be with forever. He wandered listlessly toward his liquor cabinet, before thinking better of it. There was a baby in the house, and getting drunk off his ass, though tempting, was definitely not the best idea he'd had that night. If Lilly wasn't going to be responsible… he would.

_You're the one who's not stopping me._

As another one of Lilly's insults, flung at him thoughtlessly as she all but teleported out of his apartment, added itself to his mind, Scotty stumbled forward slightly. She was right. He hadn't stopped her. He'd watched her walk out and stayed frozen in place.

_Damn it. _

What should he have done? Grabbed her and forced her to stay and face up to things? Lock her inside his apartment until she accepted his help? Scotty knew that those weren't options. Lilly had to want this herself. She had to… make a conscious effort, damn it. He couldn't always be the one trying, fighting, talking. There had to be some give and take. Lilly had to…

Scotty let his thoughts trail off. What did he want from her?

… she had to give a little too.

The selfish thought almost knocked Scotty off his feet. That was exactly it. He wanted Lilly to give a bit, to put herself on the line like he did, time and time again for her. He needed her to take a risk, even if it was just a small one. He needed her to stop treating him like crap, even though the idea of the two of them scared her. He needed reassurance, damn it, that the idea of him and Lilly wouldn't remain a pipe dream. He was just - so tired - of always being the one to try and take a step and being shut down.

Exhausted, Scotty sat down at his kitchen table and dropped his head on top of his folded arms.

* * *

Lilly all but ran out of the front doors of the apartment building, feeling the night air cool her burning cheeks. She breathed heavily, shoving her hands roughly into her pockets and stalking off in any direction. It was probably nearing midnight by now and the streets were empty except for her.

_How dare he?_ Lilly seethed, quickening her pace. It started to rain, heavy droplets soaking into her clothes and hair. She didn't stop walking, needing the movement to help her think, help her decide, help her figure out exactly what crime she was assigning to Scotty, and what he'd done to make her so angry.

When she was walking so fast that there was a stitch in her side, Lilly slowed down, ordering her racing heart to stop pounding in her ears as well. Scotty… Lilly wanted to trust him, wanted with everything she had to be able to accept his kind gestures without a second thought, but every time he did something that went beyond partnerly, she couldn't help but pull away from him. She'd seen the frustration in his eyes tonight as he tried to figure out where it all went wrong, and for the life of her, she couldn't explain it.

Scotty was a great partner, the best one she ever had. Lilly felt her heart soften at the thought of all he'd done for her. Threatening doers on her behalf, going the extra mile and actually, physically, attacking them at times, putting up with all her crap over the years… they were just things that he did and he never asked for anything in return.

_Still. _She told herself firmly, _He slept with your sister._

Lilly sighed, knowing that this was one starting to get old. Why couldn't she just let it go already? Chris and Scotty's indiscretions had happened five years ago. And yes, they'd stung like holy hell, for longer than she would admit, but hadn't they worked through that? Hadn't he apologized and meant it? Hadn't he proven himself to be worthy of her trust again?

"Lilly?" Suddenly, a familiar voice called out her name from behind her and Lilly spun around, her gun halfway out of his holster. "It's just me." Her boss said, holding his hands up innocently.

Lilly immediately lowered her gun, embarrassed. "Boss." She acknowledged quietly.

Stillman cocked his head sideways, studying her dismal appearance. All of a sudden, Lilly had the sensation of being under a microscope, with all that had happened in the last day being examined. She lowered her head. Boss didn't know anything yet. He and the rest of the team had been back in Philly, solving a pretty important case of their own while she and Scotty combed New York City.

"I've been calling you and Valens all day." He said sternly, "Your house is pitch black and I was just on my way to his place. My next stop was Missing Persons. Where the hell have you two been?"

Lilly fell into step next to her boss. "Christina was abducted; Scotty offered to help me track her down. There wasn't any time to call." She began to explain. She could practically feel the shock emanating from her boss.

"Well, is she okay?" His first question was expected, though no less difficult to answer. _No, no she isn't. _

"Actually," Lilly said quietly, "She's dead."

The lieutenant stopped walking and shot out an arm to stop Lilly as well. She was forced to turn toward him. "I'm so sorry Lilly."

She didn't meet his eyes. Lilly couldn't bear to see the concern etched into them, concern that would only translate into pity when she told him the rest. "Yeah, well, me too." She answered, pressing her lips together helplessly. "The baby's okay though. It's a girl." She turned around and started walking down the street, knowing her boss would catch up in a second, if not less, and sure enough…

"Chris had a baby?" He asked incredulously. "Is she with DCFS?" He was referring to the Department of Child and Family Service and Lilly almost laughed. Maybe the Bug would be better off there.

Lilly corrected him anyways. "No, she's with Scotty." She wasn't sure what it was about her boss that made her want to be completely honest. Maybe the way he looked out for her when he didn't have to. Or the way he was looking at her now, almost fatherly.

In a second, John Stillman understood why Lilly was walking down the street in the middle of the night. The sight of a baby had brought back years of pain and problems for her, and Valens, who always wanted to play the hero, had seen this as an opportunity to swoop in and help. Rush had taken issue with that, they'd gotten into a fight, and she'd walked out. The sad part was that both of them cared about the other more than what could be expressed in words. Whether they realized tonight what the rest of the squad had known all along, that they were in love, remained a mystery, but the Lieutenant knew, that would only makes things more difficult between them right now.

"Then what are you doing out here?" He asked her quietly. Maybe he couldn't fix their problems, but he could nudge her in the right direction, go to bat for Scotty, who was so in love it was ridiculous.

Lilly sighed. "It was Scotty…" She began. "He just, bought all this baby stuff and kept going on about 'us' and 'we', and I…" She trailed off helplessly, knowing her boss would fill in the blanks himself. There was the reason the man was the Lieutenant after all.

"You felt smothered." He finished for her. "And you got scared."

Even though she knew it was true, Lilly protested right away. "I wasn't _scared_." She said scathingly. She didn't get scared, she was a murder cop, toed the line with the worst scum of society; put her life in danger on a daily basis. She didn't get scared.

John put a hand on her shoulder, preventing her from continue to walk. "It's alright that you're in love with him."

Lilly met his gaze furiously and he held up a hand to stop the barrage of excuses and denials that were no doubt prepared to roll off of her tongue. "Save it, Lilly. There's a reason I'm the boss." He said tiredly. He really wasn't in the mood to fight her. He'd say what he could, and then the rest was up to them.

She bit back the sarcastic retort she had prepared. Maybe, she thought, she should tell the truth. Maybe it would do her some good. John Stillman was someone she trusted with her life, ever since she was barely 10 years old. She owed him the truth. Besides, if she didn't say something now, she probably never would, to anyone else. "Okay." She acquiesced. "You're right, I have feelings for Scotty, feelings I definitely shouldn't be having. But you don't have to worry." She added with conviction. "I won't let this get in the way of doing our jobs."

Stillman shook his head. "That's not what I meant Lilly." How do you explain to someone like Lilly that there was more to life than Homicide? Would she believe it, when it was coming from someone who had lost his marriage to the job? It didn't matter, he had to try. "You aren't always gonna be a murder cop, but you're always gonna love him. And you have to decide what matters to you more."

Lilly's head snapped up. "Are you saying…?" She let her unspoken question hang between them. Was her boss encouraging her to have an affair with her partner? That couldn't be possible, could it? Maybe she was hallucinating. The rain was definitely coming down pretty hard now. Maybe her company was just a product of her imagination.

"I'm saying." Stillman answered calmly, "That you have the same choice I did all those years ago, and I chose wrong. Don't choose wrong, Lil." He gave her shoulder another reassuring squeeze before bidding her goodnight. He'd done his best, and he trusted Lilly to figure the rest out by herself.

Lilly stood rooted to a spot. A choice. She had a choice to make. And though her Lieutenant hadn't come right out and said it, the choice was basically this: either pull yourself up by the bootstraps, get your act together, and maybe have a chance at being a mother and having the man you love, or give all that up in favor of security.

Security didn't come without a price though, and that price was loneliness.

She loved Scotty. She knew that now, without a shadow of a doubt. And in the last few hours, she'd even grown to love the Bug. They wouldn't have it easy, that's for sure. Assuming Scotty still wanted to help her after all of this, after the cruel things she'd said. But it would be better than being alone, Lilly realized suddenly. All her life she'd chosen to be alone, because it felt safer, but with Scotty… maybe alone wasn't the right choice this time.

Either way, she was going back to his apartment.

* * *

A half hour later, Lilly had managed to find herself back in front of _his_ door. She was soaked to the skin with rainwater, and her hair had fallen out of its ponytail and was clinging to her face. She thought maybe she should come back in the morning, when she looked a bit less like a vagrant off the street, but she shrugged the idea off. Scotty wouldn't care what she looked like. Before she could talk herself out of it, Lilly raised a hand and rapped on the door a few times.

She heard the scraping of a chair on the floor, followed by shuffling footsteps and then silence. She assumed Scotty was looking through the peep hole, probably wondering if it was really her. Briefly, she considered raising a hand and waving, but she didn't. She just didn't have the strength left. Lilly hoped he'd at least open the door and give her a chance.

She was right of course. Scotty was on the other side of the door, his face pressed up to the small viewing hole. At the mere sight of Lilly, righteous anger filled his soul. So now she was coming back? After the things he'd done for her over the years, and the hurtful things she'd said in return? He yanked open the door angrily, his eyes dark with fury. "What the hell do you want?"

His lethal voice startled her, although, Lilly thought bitterly, it wasn't like she deserved anything better. She shrugged helplessly, looking down on the floor.

Scotty shook his head disbelievingly. "Well maybe come back when you got that figured out." He made a move to shut the door, but Lilly flung out a hand to stop him.

"Wait." She breathed. "Scotty, please…" She searched her mind for the words that would make things better between them, that would sooth the hurt she saw below the angry front he'd put on.

For his part, Scotty was seeing red. He could hear blood pounding in his ears and he wanted nothing more in that moment than to throttle the woman standing, dripping wet, in front of him. He pressed harder on the door and Lilly wedged her body between the doorframe to keep it from closing.

"Just… Go to hell, Rush." The use her last name wrapped a blanket of cold around her heart and Lilly hated herself for singlehandedly putting that venom in his words and his voice.

"Don't, please…" She begged quietly. Lilly willed him to meet her eyes. Instead he seemed to be looking over her right shoulder.

Scotty didn't let himself look at her, because if he did, then the hurt on her face would make him draw her into his arms. And she would cling to him for dear life for a while, giving him hope and allowing him to feel love, and when she felt better… she would walk out on him again, leaving only cruel words and a taste of happiness in her wake. Scotty knew that he deserved more from her than that.

"Get out." He demanded. She had to move out from between the door and the door frame. That way he could close the door on all these feelings and the innate urge to protect. Lilly didn't need protecting, that much she'd made perfectly clear; he was the one who needed protecting from her, and all her self-destructive tendencies that missed their mark and ended up destroying him more often than not.

Lilly stepped back so that she was once again in the hallway. Before she could plead with him to _just fucking listen _to her, he slammed the door. Lilly closed her eyes and leaned forward, her body finding the cold wood of his door. She wondered if he was doing the same on the other side, if there really was only a two inch thick door between them.

It felt like so much more.

Everything she'd never known she wanted lay beyond that door. A man she loved, a baby she wanted to raise with that man… and she had no clue how to get to them. Suddenly, she was unable to remain standing and she sat down on the floor, shivering a bit in her wet clothes. When she hit the floor, the weight of the damage she'd done that night washed over her. She'd known that she'd hurt him, but that much?

Lilly felt one tear creep down her cheek, and then another, and another, and pretty soon there were too many to count. They landed in her lap, mixing in with the rain and soon, she was sobbing openly for the first time in years.

* * *

**Scotty's pissed, and rightfully so. Just think of the last chapter, and hopefully you won't feel too bad for Lilly. But all will, again hopefully, be solved in the next chapter, when they have THE TALK, and then we'll see where the story goes from there. **

**Just one more thing. At the end of this chapter, Scotty was in a pretty dark mood, and I wanted to convey that anger properly (since I figure he can't always be the one apologizing) and I'm sorry if I made it seem like he was going to hit her or something. I would never _ever_ write something like that because I think it would ruin his character and neither of them would ever recover from it. **

**Yeah, and review, please :) Real life is about to intrude, but I'll try and update soon.  
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	4. No Living Without Loving You

**This is it you guys! I figure I dragged the angst and other ridiculousness on for way too long. This chapter is a bit odd, but give it a chance. It ends completely differently from the beginning. I hope you'll find that Lilly fully redeems herself. By the way, tonight is the night before my wedding day, but I've had this written for a couple days and I couldn't _not_ post it, y'know? Chapter title by Celine Dion.  
**

**Disclaimer: I feel like this is an important chapter and I should say something sensationally meaningful. It is really hard to make a disclaimer sensationally meaningful though, so I'll just stick with 'I, sadly, own nothing'. **

**_This chapter, and specifically the happy ending that goes with it, is dedicated to my wonderful husband-to-be, Luke. I love you, baby, and thanks for putting up with all my crazy. _  
**

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**Chapter 4:** **No Living Without Loving You**

As the grasp of sleep slowly relinquished its hold on Scotty, he wondered when his bed had grown so lumpy and uncomfortable. He sure as hell couldn't remember the last time he had a headache this bad, and aching muscles to match. Groaning, he rolled around, but instead of the cold sheets he usually met in the morning, or if he was unlucky, the unknown person he'd have to make awkward morning-after talk with, he was sudden falling. Scotty hit the floor a second later with a hard thump that jolted his eyes open.

He stared at the underside of his coffee table in confusion. When had he moved his bed into the living room? And for the love of God, when had it gotten 2 sizes smaller? Scotty pushed himself into a sitting position, all of a sudden seeing a whole pile of baby equipment. He frowned. Which of his sisters had had a baby? For a second there was panic. Exactly what kind of little brother forgot which sister had given him a new niece or…. Oh.

_Oh, right._

And then everything that his sleep deprived, semi-delusional, pain clouded mind had blocked out in the early hours of the morning returned with a vengeance.

It was Lilly who'd brought a baby into his house. Lilly's baby who currently occupied his bed. Lilly who he'd fallen in love with. Lilly who had shattered his heart into a million, irretrievable, little pieces.

In a moment of almost fatherly concern, Scotty tip toed into his large bedroom. The baby, the Bug, as they'd informally named her, was sleeping soundly, and Scotty sent up a silent thank you to the heavens for granting him that small comfort. Babies slept what, 20 hours a day?

What was he going to do now? Boss was probably waiting for them at work, having not heard from them for almost two days now. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if there was an APB out on them by now. But… he couldn't leave an infant in his house could he? And he couldn't be expected to raise his partner's, because that's all she was interested in, Scotty told himself firmly, a partnership… he couldn't be expected to raise her baby or something, right?

Children's Protective Services. Scotty's mind settled on the incompetent government department responsible for kids who had no place else to go. Foster care. That was the right decision, wasn't it? Scotty just didn't know. How the hell had he gotten himself caught up in this mess? Briefly, he imagined introducing the kid to other people. _This is my partner from work's dead sister's child. Oh, and by the way I was sleeping with the sister, which apparently is an unforgiveable sin. Her name is Bug. And yours? _Scotty almost laughed out loud at the ridiculousness, but the beginnings of a chuckle quickly turned into a grimace of pain. This wasn't funny. Not even close.

Scotty made his way to the front door then, thinking he'd pick up his mail and maybe fall back into some semblance of a normal life, assuming of course, that he was still capable of such a thing. He placed his hand on the doorknob, turning it softly and edging the door open, completely unaware of the surprise waiting for him on the other side.

Lilly.

Immediately upon opening the door, the first thing he saw was the very woman he couldn't get out of his mind, there, in the flesh, sprawled on his doorstep. Lilly awoke with the start as the surface she'd been sleeping on gave way. For a moment, she was prepared to yell at whoever had made her bed disappear, but the words died on her lips as she remembered. She was sleeping on Scotty's door. Scotty, who she happened to love, who had broken her heart last night, who was looking at her with an expression of residual anger and pain.

Quickly, she got to her feet, shaking the vestiges of sleep with some difficulty. By the time she stood facing him, Scotty hadn't said anything. Maybe he still hated her. Maybe he was just too damn shocked. Maybe it was time for her to get the hell out of there.

"Sorry…" Lilly mumbled quietly, not having the strength to meet his eyes. "I'll just… " She turned around without another word, and hurried toward the elevator, feeling her cheeks pink with complete mortification…

Scotty was still rooted firmly in his spot, watching Lilly stumble in her haste to get away from him. When had she gotten so small and sad looking? He wondered. Because the woman he saw now was barely a shadow of the strong, imposing detective he knew. _Probably last night, after you told her to go to hell, you bastard._ His conscience interjected cruelly.

_She deserved it._ The other, still wounded, part of him, probably his heart, said defensively. _After what you've done for her, she's still walking away._

Scotty silenced the contradicting voices in his head, finding them to be no more helpful than the lack of sleep and coffee. Instead another voice added itself to his mind. This one softer, much less aggressive and angry, but ten times as piercing. Lilly's voice.

_You're the one who's not stopping me._

He'd let her walk away once. He'd let her stomp all over his heart and walk away without an apology, or an explanation. Hell if that was going to happen again. Jumping into action, Scotty chased her out the door, stumbling slightly in his bare feet.

"Lil… wait…" He called desperately. She paused at the sound of his voice, for just long enough that it allowed him to catch up and grab her gently by the arm. He searched his brain for the right words, and upon deciding that there weren't any, he spewed the first logical thing that would come out of his mouth. "At least come in and get into some dry clothes." He said. "You'll freeze to death."

Until he'd said that, Lilly had almost forgotten that it'd been raining that night, that she'd gotten wet, that she hadn't changed, that she'd slept right outside his apartment. "Okay," She agreed. And she let Scotty lead her back toward his apartment.

* * *

Scotty tried not to think about Lilly changing in his bathroom. There was no point. It would just end in pain. And like it or not, he couldn't stand any more of that. But… he couldn't deny that having Lilly Rush naked, within 20 feet of him, was simply intoxicating. No. He forced the thought out of his mind one last time. He loved her, no doubt about it. He wanted her more than anything. But, that was just the thing, he wanted _her._ Lilly. Not the angry Ice Queen capable of chewing up his soul and spitting it back out that he saw all too often.

She pushed open the door to the bathroom, biting on her lower lip as she did so. Would Scotty be out there? Or was he completely finished with her, and he just felt bad that she'd been soaking wet with red puffy eyes? She hoped he was still there.

But she wasn't prepared for the emotion that would hit when she saw him.

Scotty's mouth almost fell open at the sight of her, wearing a pair of his joggers that sat so low on her hips it must have been illegal, and an oversized t-shirt that she'd tied up, showing about an inch of her midsection. God, she was beautiful.

_Shut up_. Scotty ordered himself. _She doesn't want anything to do with your ass anymore._

Lilly faltered at the guarded look on his face, one that she had a habit of wearing after she'd been burned as well. "I'll just get the Bug and leave." She muttered, starting to turn away. At Scotty's sigh of disappointment, she stopped.

"So that's it, huh?" Scotty spat bitterly. Slowly, he saw Lilly turn around to face him, obviously expecting the words that had come bursting out of his mouth. _Can't you just keep your mouth shut?_

Lilly's eyes traveled to the pile of blankets on his couch, to the light in his kitchen… anywhere but his eyes… to the big gaping hole in the wall. Lilly frowned. The fist shaped hole, at shoulder height. She looked at his hand, bruised knuckles and torn skin to match. "Your hand." She gasped. "I-I did that. I hurt you."

Scotty gave a start of surprise. He hadn't even noticed the damage to his hand until she'd mentioned it, but since she had… yeah, he supposed she was the one who did that. She reached for his hand, but he yanked it away as though she'd burn him.

"It ain't that bad." He lied. "It's okay."

"No." Lilly said breathlessly. "I _hurt_ you. And it isn't okay. It's not okay." Her eyes widened and Scotty knew they weren't talking about his hand anymore. "I'm sorry."

And just like that the floodgates opened.

All of the guilt she'd been feeling spilled out of her mouth in a torrent of apologies. "God, Scotty. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I… You're good. You're amazing, and I'm so _so_ sorry." Tears were appearing in her eyes and she leaned on the counter for support. "I'm sorry."

Unable to stop himself any longer, Scotty quickly crossed to her side of the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her. She leant willingly into his embrace. "I'm sorry." She whispered again and again. "I didn't mean to hurt you, never. I'm sorry. Sorry."

Scotty waited until her frantic words quieted before speaking. "You know… that I love you, right Lil?" He didn't need to say it. Scotty had known for a long time, and even for Lilly, somewhere deep down she'd know it was true all along. She just nodded. "I've been in love with you, since forever." He added.

He pried her out of his embrace and held her at arm's length. "Scotty…" She began. "I know I messed up. And I said a lot of stupid, hurtful things. Trust me, I know. But, I… love you. I love you, too. And I love the Bug. And I dunno, maybe I was hoping, we could try this out?"

Somewhere along the way, the optimistic courage in her words had dwindled as he'd stepped away from her and walked to the other side of the room again. _Damn it._ That was exactly what he wanted. And if she'd said so years ago, months ago, or hell, even a few days ago, it would've made him the happiest man alive. But he'd seen how bad it could get with her. Just like with Elisa. And Scotty Valens, despite the tough front he wore, was not willing to go through that again.

"We can't, Lil." He said regretfully. He couldn't believe it. He'd always thought he'd be the one to talk her into this, to _them._ He never imagined he'd be the one to balk. But he found that he had things to say to her, and his heart mattered too. Maybe it was that thought that made him start to talk.

"I never know with you Lil. I love you, but some days you're Lilly and some days you aren't. I never know if I'm gonna be allowed to be close to you. I know what that roller coaster's like, Lil. I practically lived on it all my life and I'm not gettin' back on 'cause I know where it ends, and it ain't pretty." His words spilled out in a frustrated rant, all the things he'd held back over the years.

"Scotty…" She began gently, taking a step toward him.

But he wasn't done, and he figured it was her turn to listen, so he pressed on. "You. You're always gonna have one foot out the door. An' around you I'm afraid the littlest thing'll send you runnin' for the hills. It's like bein' frozen, and bein' too terrified to push the envelope. I just, can't be the only one who's tryin' all the time, Lil. 'Cause if I have to fight you, then we ain't ever gonna make it anywhere."

"Can't you see I'm trying?" She burst out. "Why do you think I even came back yesterday? Or let alone spent the entire damn night on your doorstep. Why do you think I'm still in this room arguing with you? I _love _you." She pleaded. "And I'm trying…"

Scotty ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I need more than tryin'." He said simply. "I would do anythin' for you. I would run into a burning building, throw myself in front of a bus, for you. I'm in. For you. Or out. But it's either one because I can't be in between like you are."

In an instant, Lilly understood. Underneath their separate shells, she and Scotty were the same, equally afraid of being abandoned by the ones they loved. All her life, Lilly had pushed people away because she wasn't secure in their love. Perfectly nice men like Joseph and Kite who hadn't understood that she didn't mean she wanted them to leave when she froze them out, that she just wanted them to prove to her they were in this. That they'd fight for her. That's what Scotty wanted. He didn't want her gone, he wanted her there, but he wanted to be sure she was completely, wholly, _there._ She smiled. That she could do. She would fight for him.

"Fine." She said in defeat, throwing her hands up. "You wanna know exactly, how _in _this, I am? You wanna see that, not only is my foot not out the door, but that damn door is so far away I can't even see it anymore?"

She turned around and stalked to his couch, fumbling in her wet clothes to find the one thing she was looking for, while Scotty looked on curiously. He had no idea what she was doing, but she seemed to have located the object because she turned around triumphantly and tossed it at him. Instinctively, he caught it in his good hand.

Her keys.

"What the hell?" Scotty began.

"Move in with me." Lilly interrupted with a slight laugh. She looked at the expression on Scotty's face, one of disbelief, surprise, and luckily, a glimmer of hope. "Move in with me _today._" She corrected.

"Don't even…" Scotty protested weakly. "That, ain't funny Lil. It's crazy."

"What's crazy about it ?" She asked. "You said you've been in love with me since forever. And I know I've been in love with you at least that long. So, the way I see it, we've got a lot of time to make up for. Just me, you, and the Bug, Scotty." She narrowed her eyes challengingly, "What's the matter, you scared Valens? Now that I'm pushin' the envelope?"

Scotty felt a smile cross his face for the first time in what felt like a century. "You serious?" He asked. He took a tentative step toward her, barely daring to hope, but wanting fervently to do so anyway. He gripped her keys in his hand as though they were his lifeline.

"I love you." She replied confidently. "And I choose _you._" She took another step, the space between them quickly dwindling.

"Lil." Scotty protested again. "This… we ain't… We haven't even been out on a date yet." The rational side of his mind reasoned. But he couldn't stop himself from taking another small step toward her.

"So?" Lilly asked.

He searched for another excuse, something that would quash this, this wonderfully _amazing_ possibility before his heart could get too attached. "I haven't even kissed you before." He found himself saying.

"So kiss me now."

There was only one step left between them, and Scotty and Lilly seemed to take it at the same time. Maybe he met her halfway, or she met him halfway, but none of it really mattered because then their lips were touching and Oh God… nothing really mattered… Her arms snaked their way up his chest, while he wrapped his own around her waist, the pain in his hand forgotten.

He didn't pull away until stars were starting to appear in his vision from the lack of oxygen. He rested his forehead against hers, frowning. "How do I know, you ain't doin' this to prove a point, or, or win an argument, or somethin'?"

Lilly smiled and took his face between her hands. "You know because I love you. _I love you_." She repeated in amazement, and then she made a sound that was halfway between a sob and a laugh. Scotty had never heard a more beautiful sound. "You're everything I never knew I wanted and I can't be without you anymore."

He nodded, finally believing her. After all that had happened this morning, all the risks they'd taken, all the words they'd finally let spill out of their hearts. It was seeing her, so open and honest, that made him believe her. She was his. And he was hers. He nodded again, more vigorously this time and she smiled.

"I am doing _this_ to win an argument though." She said teasingly. And then she leaned up and kissed him again, pulling away far too early. Lilly laughed at the disappointed look on his face.

"What argument is that?" He asked reluctantly, not having kissed her long enough, and aching to feel her lips on his again.

"That you can't get enough of me." Lilly replied.

"Oh, ain't no argument in there, Lil."

* * *

**:D **

**So what did you think? Different from the usual 'she's messed up but he wants her anyways' no? I thought it'd be nice for Lilly to have to prove herself, and not the other way around. I have another chapter planned, mostly about the baby and the beginnings of some sort of learning process, but I, as with Scotty/Lilly, need a little break. **

**Please drop me a review and lemme know how I did.  
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	5. Teach Me To Breathe Again

**Sorry for the long wait people. Hopefully you've heard from my other story where I've been, or if not, got in the hint from my A/N in the last chapter. I'm thinking a couple more chapters after this, and then I'll wrap up the story. Just pure fluff left you guys! Hope you enjoy.  
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**Disclaimer: I actually do own something in the chapter, the baby's name. However, I can't tell you what it is because that would ruin the chapter. Go figure.

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**Chapter 5: Teach Me To Breathe Again**

Neither of them was sure how long they stood in Scotty's kitchen, alternating between kissing and just gazing at each other, matching goofy grins on their faces. Every so often, one of them would be overcome with joy and the words 'I love you' would spew helplessly out of their mouth. God, how good it felt to say it out loud, and know it would be accepted and reciprocated, something that both Scotty and Lilly had been missing for a while. She kept her arms linked around his neck, and he kept his around her waist. They could've been dancing if their knees weren't weak from the kisses they shared.

They might have stood there forever if not for a sudden wail, the unmistakable cry of a baby, from down the hall.

Lilly pulled herself out of Scotty's arms with a shy smile. "I think the Bug needs us." She murmured, before jogging toward the cries, getting louder by the second. "C'mon." She beckoned, "I might need your help."

Scotty smiled and followed her. Babies were babies, like it or not, they wouldn't wait for a convenient time to have their needs met, even if the ones meeting those needs were currently sharing the moment of both their lives.

In a show of courage, that frankly, Lilly didn't know she possessed, she walked into Scotty's bedroom without a backward glance, hoping the slight falter in her steps wouldn't show. The baby was lying smack in the middle of the bed, and Lilly could tell that Scotty had gone to great lengths to make her comfortable. Both pillows were pushed aside to make way for the baby's small head and the pile of Scotty's clothes on the floor indicated they'd been thrown onto the floor in haste. Lilly felt a rush of affection.

She hesitated at the side of the bed, still new to the whole caring-for-human-babies thing. Lilly couldn't help the inherent ability to be careful, tread lightly, lest she break the delicate looking creature in front of her. Temporarily pushing aside the worry that she would screw up before even spending a night with the baby, Lilly climbed gingerly into one side of Scotty's bed and propped herself up by the elbow. She placed a hand on the baby's stomach and rubbed a few circles. She quieted down immediately.

Scotty hovered uncertainly by the door. Despite all the painful talking they'd done, he still didn't know where he stood. She'd said the three of them together, right? Did that mean he was allowed to get involved? Was she letting him?

"Scotty, don't just stand there by the door." Lilly teased, and she looked on happily as he flashed her a smile and lay down on the other side of the baby. Their hands brushed as they rubbed the baby's tummy together and Lilly felt herself blush again.

"Hey eyes are so blue." Scotty muttered, looking up into Lilly's eyes and realizing they were the exact same shade. "Kinda like yours." He added, with a lopsided grin.

"Yeah." Lilly agreed. "She stopped crying too." The baby's eyes were traveling around the room in wonder, flicking innocently between Scotty and Lilly. She was completely silent, except for the occasional suckling sound, the kind the baby in the movies makes. Still, the Bug had them both mesmerized.

"Sometimes babies just need company." Scotty said wisely, taking one of her tiny hands in his own and letting her grasp his finger.

"Kinda like us, y'know, lonely grown ups." Lilly added with a slight wistful look, twisting her fingers around the baby's soft hair.

"Makes you wish we could scrunch up our face, make that sound and get whoever we want." Scotty's voice was quiet, trying not to shatter the delicate moment between the three of them. It seemed almost surreal, him and Lilly lying on his bed, a baby between them. And it amazed him so much he didn't want to move, breathe, or do anything to disturb the rare peace they'd found after years of turmoil.

Lilly seemed to sense his sudden nervousness. "I'm scared Scotty." She admitted reluctantly. To her chagrin, Lilly wanted nothing more than to be back in the kitchen, with Scotty's arms securely around her. Lacking that, she stretched out a hand to him and he took it willingly.

"The baby won't hurt you, Lil." He said softly, all the while knowing that wasn't what she was scared of. He knew exactly the kind of trepidation she was feeling, because it was mirrored in his own heart. He wondered if it was showing in his eyes, and if it would be a small comfort to Lilly if it was.

Lilly nodded. "What if we hurt her?" She asked fearfully. "What if, I dunno, she turns out just like me, or something?"

Scotty leaned over and kissed her on her forehead, the simple gesture doing wonders for her frayed nerves. "Then that'll be great." He replied with an honest smile. Lilly continued to look worried, "I'm scared too…" He trailed off.

He really wasn't doing anything to assuage her fears was he? Lilly mused silently. If she didn't have it together, she'd have to depend on the fact that he did, but if neither of them had a clue what they were doing… _Oh, he's still talking Rush, just listen._

"But we love her." Scotty's voice burst through her bubble of worried thoughts. "I ain't sure what I'm doin', and I know you ain't sure either, but we're both worried Lil - an' you don't worry about people you don't love."

He was making sense. Lilly's eyes widened as what he'd been trying to get her to see the past two days finally clicked into place. "We love her." She repeated slowly.

"We love her." Scotty echoed. "And that's gotta be enough."

Lilly blew out a deep breath. They could do this. She wasn't going to screw up like her mother had, because Ellen had never loved her girls and Lilly loved this child already, more than she ever imagined she could. She had never thought kids were in the cards for her, not the way men flitted in and out of her life, but Lilly would be lying if she hadn't hoped that sometime, something would come along and make this particular dream come true. She wanted nothing more than for this girl to grow up safe, strong, and loved. Lilly's mother hadn't had anyone to help her, but she had Scotty, Lilly realized with a surge of joy. She had Scotty. Scotty who… _wait a second. _Lilly frowned.

"What is it, Lil?" Scotty asked softly, seeing the turn in her thoughts written all over her features. He brushed his thumb across her cheek, absentmindedly sweeping aside a few strands of blond hair. She wasn't having second thoughts again, was she? No, not after the way she'd jumped off the metaphorical edge and dragged him with her this afternoon. _Just shut up, and let her answer the question. There you go. _

Lilly avoided his eyes. "Why do you love her?" She burst out. "I mean, she isn't yours or anything, and still you're - you're here - buying things and saying things."

Scotty silenced her with a quick kiss. "I _do_ love her." He insisted gently. "I love her and I can't promise much Lil, but I promise to never stop lovin' her. Or you."

She nodded hesitantly, and he reached across to wrap an arm around her neck. "So you gotta stop sayin' things like 'she ain't mine', Lil." He said, ducking his head to meet her eyes, "Okay?"

She nodded again, more confident this time, and when she looked up, Scotty could see the love and gratitude shining on the surface, not beneath some poorly constructed walls. "Okay."

"Y'know." Scotty began with a grin. "I, uh, ain't sure if we were plannin' on callin' her the Bug forever, but I think, we need a name."

"I dunno, the Bug's got a nice ring to it." Lilly mused, bending down to kiss the top of the baby's forehead. At the incredulous look of both Scotty and the unnamed baby between them, she acquiesced. "Okay, a name. How do people name their kids anyways?"

Scotty thought for a second. He and Mike had been born and named American, a toast to the family's new beginning in a new country, away from the clutches of Cuba and its new leader. They hadn't had some meaningful namesake. They were just, brand new, a clean slate, and it had worked out fine. But looking at the baby between him and Lilly, Scotty knew, this baby girl wasn't a clean slate. There was already so much, in her few short months of life, that couldn't be overlooked.

"Somethin' that means somethin', to both of us." Scotty said quietly to himself.

Lilly nodded slowly. That was easier said than done. The people who'd meant things to her had all left her at some point in her life. Her thoughts immediately went to her mother and her sister, the only relatives she knew. Christina. Ellen. Perfectly nice names that were forever tainted. Names that meant something, but couldn't be used because there was too much bitterness woven in between the tendrils of love.

"We could name her after my mom." Scotty offered with a slight laugh. "Or yours." He added. At the mutinous look Lilly shot him, he dropped the teasing veneer and lapsed into real thought, as Lilly did the same.

A memory sprung unbidden to Lilly's mind. A memory from many decades ago that she hadn't thought on since at least that long, from her childhood. Immediately, she made a move to shut the door on her thoughts, but when she realized that this wasn't that kind of flashback, she let it wash over her.

* * *

"_Lilly! Wake up…" A four year old Christina Rush poked her sister's face again, frowning when the eight year old remained deeply in sleep. "It's Christmas morning…" She hissed into her ear. "C'mon."_

_Lilly rolled over slowly and eased her eyes open. She looked toward the window and saw that the sun was barely up, but Chris was already bouncing on the bed like… well like a kid on Christmas morning. "Chris." Lilly implored, her eight year old voice tired with all she'd been through already. "Go back to sleep, please." _

"_We gotta go open presents." Chris said with a lopsided smile. Lilly only stared back, knowing only too well that there wouldn't be any. She didn't have it in her to break Chris's heart, so she stood up and took her hand, tiptoeing out of their room and down the stairs. _

_Lilly prepared herself for the inevitable explanation as to why Santa had left them out this year, why they didn't have a tree, or decorations, or presents to think of. Each step down the stairs seemed to fill her heart with dread and bring her closer to her sister's sad wide eyes…_

_When the living room came into view, Lilly closed her eyes. She didn't want to see it, the moment Chris's bubble of innocence and happiness would burst. She expected a soft sigh of disappointment from the four year old next to her… but instead she heard a squeal of excitement. "Look, Lilly!" _

_Lilly's eyes sprang open, and she immediately rubbed them to make sure she wasn't seeing things. In their small living room, a two foot tall electric Christmas tree was plugged in, flashing fluorescent lights all around. Underneath the tree was a single gift, and when she and Chris ran to it, they saw that it was addressed to both of them, from Santa. _

_They tore the gift apart, almost literally, in their haste to get to the present inside. _

_It was a doll. A big doll that came up to Chris's four year old shoulder when propped up and had a childish, beautiful aura that wasn't even lost on Lilly, who had already seen far too much. They spent the entire morning playing with that doll, and when Ellen and Roy, the most recent man she'd been dating, traipsed downstairs hours later, they watched them playing happily. It felt good, like being a real family. _

"_We should give her a name." Lilly suggested exuberantly a little while later. _

_Chris scrunched up her four year old face in deep thought, and a few minutes later, she burst out, "How 'bout Lollypop." _

_Lilly sent her little sister an amused and disbelieving glare. "That." She said in a mature tone, "Is a stupid name." _

_Chris had gone on unperturbed, suggesting a plethora of other names for their new 'baby', which Lilly rolled her eyes to. It went on like that, for a day and a half before Chris suggested, "Bethy!" _

"_Bethy." Lilly repeated. "Isn't a real name." _

"_But I like it." Christ whined. She sat on the floor, clutching the doll that neither Lilly nor she had let out of their sight since they'd unwrapped her. _

_Lilly immediately sat next to her, the inherent need to comfort her little sister kicking in. "Okay." She agreed quietly, "How about Beth." _

_Chris nodded in agreement and the two girls burst into helpless gales of joyful laughter, enveloped in a three way hug with each other and Bethy. _

_That doll had become their shared comfort when Ellen broke up with Roy two months later, and sunk into her usual drunken stupor. And that time, it hadn't been as bad as before because they had Beth and their one perfect Christmas. Lilly had never had the heart to throw away that doll, even when it had grown old and ratty. In fact, it was probably still sitting her closet somewhere, gathering dust…

* * *

_

Lilly's thoughts careened back to the present and she let out a small gasp. That Christmas… it had indeed meant something to her. It was one of the happiest memories of her childhood, one not tainted with sadness or hatred. That doll, Beth, as she'd called her in that mature voice, was the purest, kindest gift she'd even received. "Beth…" She whispered aloud.

At that same moment, Scotty was lost in a thought of his own. The first time he thought he might get a chance to be a dad, many years ago. He was barely 17 at the time, not even graduated out of high school…

* * *

"_Scotty." Elisa whispered, beckoning toward him from outside the classroom. "Scotty…" _

_Scotty sent the nun at the front of the class a furtive glance. It usually wasn't hard to sneak out of this class, as long as he gave a reasonable excuse and tried not to make it too obvious he was bringing all his stuff with him. Scotty raised his hands, begged to go to the nurse's office, grabbed his backpack and followed Elisa, who was waiting for him down the hall. _

"_What is it?" He asked, greeting her with a kiss. Immediately, he sensed something was wrong. He pulled back and looked into her wide eyes. _

"_Scotty, I think I might be pregnant." Her fearful voice seemed loud in the empty corridor, and Scotty was temporarily frozen. Pregnant? It couldn't be right? He glanced at her for confirmation and she nodded, panic clouding her eyes. _

_He didn't know how they'd gotten the home pregnancy test. Between asking around and some begging on Scotty's part, they found themselves locked in a washroom that afternoon, anxiously awaiting results. _

"_Ma's gonna kill me." Scotty muttered, running a hand through his hair. He spun around, facing Elisa with a terrified look. "Your pop's gonna help her bury me." _

"_He's not that bad." Elisa said with a smile, trying to counteract her own anxiousness. _

_Scotty snorted. "On our first date, he checked my wallet for condoms and showed me his gun collection." He said darkly. _

_Elisa laughed, glancing down at the pregnancy test one more time. "We would be okay, Scotty." She said suddenly. "If this is… positive… we're gonna be okay, right?" _

"_More than okay." He said. "Wouldn't it be great to have a girl?" _

_Elisa smiled wistfully. They wanted kids, they both did, not now… but if God said now was the time then… "What would we name her?" _

"_We'd name her after you, Bella." _

_The pregnancy test had been negative, and it'd been thrown away without a second thought. But something had taken root within both of them. Their first girl. The child he was supposed to have with Elisa. They'd name her after her.

* * *

_

Scotty's eyes focused back on the present, and on the baby girl before him. He curled a finger around her hair. She wasn't Elisa's baby, and none of this had turned out how he thought it would… but she was his and Lilly's, and he loved them both, more than he ever thought he could after Elisa. Years later, and now he was less naïve, seen more of the world, and irrevocably in love with Lilly Rush. With a small smile, Scotty realized he could still fulfill the promise he made to Elisa when they were 17.

"Elisa…" Scotty whispered. At the same time, he was aware of Lilly muttering something under her breath. They looked up from their memories together, meeting each others eyes. "What d'you say?" He asked with a grin.

"Just thinking." Lilly said, looking at the baby instead. "Beth?" She asked cautiously. "What did you say?"

"I was, uh, just thinkin' too." Scotty replied sheepishly. "Elisa?"

For a moment, Scotty wondered whether they were going to argue about which name got to be the first name, and which name got to be the middle. He figured Lilly should get the final say and was just about to step back when her face split into a wide, exuberant grin.

"Elizabeth."

Scotty repeated the name reverently. "Elizabeth."

It meant something, that was for sure. To both him and Lilly. Scotty made a mental note to ask her what the name Beth meant to her, but for now, he caressed the name on his tongue, feeling tears prick his eyes. When he looked at Lilly, he knew she would be wearing a similar expression.

"The Bug has a name." Lilly said shakily, wiping at the tears in her own eyes.

Scotty nodded. "Elizabeth Rush." It had a nice ring to it. And considering the sounds she was making, the Bug was perfectly happy with that.

"Elizabeth Valens Rush." Lilly corrected quietly. He hadn't thought he would be forgotten had he? After everything he'd said about Elizabeth being both of theirs.

"Lil." Scotty breathed. "You don't have to…" Was she really letting him in that far? Had he underestimated her this entire time, pushed her away because he didn't think she could go all in on him?

Lilly silenced him with a quick kiss. "She's gonna wonder why she doesn't have daddy's name."

If Scotty had been surprised before, he was completely shell shocked now. In a surge of love, he reached behind her neck to deepen the kiss. Lilly Rush was simply amazing, breathtaking, perfect. "You're gonna be a great mommy." He murmured against her lips, and when he felt her smile, he couldn't imagine a more perfect place to be.

Scotty leaned back, so taken by the entire day they'd had that he completely forgot about the night that preceded it, specifically the damage done to his hand. When he tried to prop his head on his torn knuckles, he winced, hoping it would go unnoticed, and knowing that it wouldn't.

"Let me see that." Lilly demanded, reaching out for his hand. Briefly, Scotty considered brushing it off like it was no big deal, but damn it, his hand was really starting to hurt. He acquiesced reluctantly.

Lilly studied his hand critically. Overnight, bruises on Scotty's knuckles had darkened to a menacing black, and where there wasn't a bruise, there was broken skin. He could probably use stitches, a bandage, and a splint. It must take a hell of a lot of force to punch through drywall, Lilly realized sadly. She made a mental note to _refuse_ to let him drive when she forced him to go to the hospital.

"We're going to the hospital." She announced, letting go of his hand and answering his scoff with a fierce glare.

"Ah, it ain't that bad." He complained. "Besides, you really want our first day with Elizabeth to be at the hospital?"

"Your hand could be broken." Lilly replied with a touch of skepticism, "I don't think Elizabeth will mind. Will you?" Lilly added, speaking to her new daughter.

Scotty absentmindedly tickled his daughter's stomach, earning himself a delighted gurgle. "How do you do that?" Lilly asked.

"Put off the hospital visit and I'll show you." Scotty grinned back at her amazed look. "It ain't hard, really."

"Lil?" He asked, in an attempt to change the subject. When she looked up from the other side of their daughter, Scotty thought maybe he shouldn't ask, just in case it wasn't his place to know. Besides, this was perfect. What they'd found was perfect. Should he really rock the boat so soon? "Who's Beth?" _Damn it. Great job, Valens. _

To his relief, Lilly didn't put her Ice Queen mask back on, just gave him a cryptic smile. "She's, uh, someone important. I'll show you someday."

"Someday?" Scotty couldn't help but ask.

"Maybe when we unpack your stuff into my closet, we'll find her." Lilly said. A moment later, she threw her head back and laughed. Scotty didn't know what she was talking about. He probably thought she hid a body in her closet or something equally ridiculous.

She looked over at Scotty, expecting to find a half confused, half frightened look on his face, but instead she met a faraway, dreamlike gaze. Scotty seemed to have lapsed into happy visualizations at the mere mention of them moving in together. Lilly shook her head with a smile. She could tell her story another day. After all, they had plenty ahead of them.

* * *

**If you hate the name, take it up with someone else. I _really_ didn't want to just name her, and this is what I came up with. Completely cheesy and unbelievable, but whatever. As always, leave me a little review please. (: They make my day and make me post faster, y'know? **


	6. We're Gonna Make It After All

**I'm on such a high right now because I've just finished writing the Epilogue to this story! :D Anyways, one more chapter after this, and then I think that'll be it. Too bad, I had fun with this one. Especially 'cause I could skip most of the dating and get straight to the 'love' part. Sorry for the lack of update on my other story, but I've been kind of focused on this one. I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: Eenie Meenie Mynie Moe. Who owns Cold Case? Not me. - alright so it doesn't rhyme, but you get the picture right? Good, on with the story. **

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**Chapter 6: We're Gonna Make It After All**

Scotty and Lilly spent the rest of that afternoon lounging in his bed, perched on either side of their new daughter and basking in a happy glow. When they got hungry, one of them would run to Scotty's surprisingly well stocked kitchen and get snacks. When Elizabeth got hungry though, that was a whole other adventure. The first time, Lilly had looked on nervously as Scotty prepared infant formula. Just the right amount, at just the right temperature. The second time, she'd nearly exploded the plastic bottle in the microwave before Scotty could hastily explain how to use a pot of warm water to heat the food instead. The third time, because, as Lilly realized that day, babies eat a hell of a lot, everything had gone smoothly.

During the rare hours that their daughter - both of them still got a thrill from hearing the word _daughter_ - slept, Scotty and Lilly had spread themselves on his living room floor, trying to assemble the baby furniture he'd bought the day before. God, was it really just a day before? It seemed like so much longer.

As the sun began to set on one of the most perfect days either of them had ever had, Lilly tossed aside the instructions to assemble a crib, which had been written to sound so ridiculously complicated that they may as well be in Chinese. She glanced over at Scotty, leaning against the wall and snoring softly. When had he fallen asleep? She didn't notice. Lilly took a moment to study the contours of his face, from his dark eyebrows and eyelids that she knew concealed eyes she could drown in, the strong jaw lined with day old stubble, to lips she'd only recently discovered she could spend forever kissing. The man was beautiful; there was no other word for it.

With a small smile, Lilly's eyes traveled further, across the broad sweep of his shoulders and down his muscular arms, to his hands. She frowned. In the excitement and pure _sweetness_ in learning how to take care of her child, she'd almost forgotten to take care of Scotty. How the hell had she let him talk her out of going to the hospital again? And, for goodness sake, _how, _pray tell, had he managed to convince her to let him build furniture? Mentally, she chastised herself and got to her feet.

She'd been in his apartment long enough to know where everything was kept, so Lilly found the first aid kit hidden away in his bathroom with ease. She made her way back to the living room and crouched down next to Scotty, taking his hand and easing it into her lap. Gently, Lilly cleaned the torn skin on his knuckles and haphazardly wrapped some bandages around it. That would have to do. She would've liked to put some ice on those swollen patches of skin, but she didn't, for fear it would wake him up.

Lilly brought his hand up to hers and kissed his fingertips. Unconsciously, her eyes travelled over to his other hand, taking in the smooth unbroken skin and the paper airplane clenched tightly within it.

Wait, what? Paper airplane?

Lilly studied the object in his hands more closely. It was definitely a paper airplane. Confusion coursed through her and she reached over to pry the inept attempt at origami out of his hands. She unfolded the airplane, spreading the paper out on the floor. A huge grin immediately split her face and she looked up at Scotty with renewed adoration. It was the instructions to the high chair she knew he'd been studying an hour ago, almost unrecognizable with crease lines and crumples. With a sigh, Lilly decided that that was definitely a sign to call it a night. She stood up and slid her arms under his, realizing a bit too late that there was no way she could get him into the bedroom.

Lilly surveyed his living room critically, her eyes resting on the sofa. Well, it was his fault he'd fallen asleep on her anyways, she reasoned. Decision made, she heaved him onto the couch with some difficulty. He didn't wake up, and only then did Lilly realize how tired he was, and how crappy he must have slept the night before. She unzipped his sweatshirt and pushed it off his shoulders, took off his socks too, and decided that if she kept going, well, no matter how beat he was, there was no way he wouldn't wake up. And he needed sleep. With a huge yawn, Lilly realized that sleep sounded wonderfully inviting.

She frowned. Where was she supposed to sleep? Here, with Scotty? Then what about Elizabeth? In the bedroom, with Elizabeth? Well then, what about Scotty? Lilly tiptoed into the bedroom and scooped up her daughter in her arms, blanket and all. She carried her back into the living room, placing her carefully on Scotty's smaller couch. Perfect. For good measure, Lilly piled pillows all around the couch. She'd had enough of a scare when Scotty dropped a box of cereal on the floor earlier that day, thinking Elizabeth had rolled out of bed. "Night Bug." She whispered, feathering a few light kisses over her hairline. Somehow, even after they'd named the baby, 'Bug' still stuck.

Sighing with exhaustion, Lilly eyed the remaining space next to Scotty on the couch. She smiled. Nothing had ever looked so inviting. She snuggled deep into his arms, inhaling the spicy scent that was _Scotty_ and in a few minutes, joined them in a deep sleep.

* * *

The next morning Scotty woke up with a wide yawn. He curled his arm more tightly around Lilly and smiled. There was no temporary amnesia this morning. There was just nothing to forget. Everything was so wonderful, life was making a smile appear on his face from the moment he awoke. He stretched, realizing too late that it would wake the sleeping beauty in his arms. A second later, she was fixing him with a blue-eyed stare.

"Sorry." He murmured sheepishly, as she pouted at him. "Go back to sleep, I ain't stoppin' you." He added defensively.

She smacked his arm lightly. "How am I supposed to sleep with you looking at me like that?" She protested.

Before Scotty could come back with a retort, and ask her _exactly_ how his half asleep look was bothering her, his eyes caught sight of the pile of baby furniture half built from yesterday. He frowned. The mess from yesterday was cleaned up and neatly packed back into cardboard boxes and carefully arranged. "What, uh, happened over there?" He asked.

"Oh." Lilly replied nonchalantly. "Elizabeth woke up at four in the morning, and I changed her. Then I couldn't sleep so I cleaned."

Scotty frowned again. "Are we plannin' on gettin' that bed up, or is she sleepin' on the couch forever?" He asked, leaning over to kiss the top of Lilly's head.

She shrugged. "I figured we could just build it at my house." She smirked at the happy smile on his face. "Boxes are easier to move than furniture, you know?" She added with a quick peck to his cheek before sitting up and climbing over him, off of the couch.

"We're really doin' this today?" Scotty asked, still barely daring to believe it. He linked his arms behind his head and watched as Lilly sauntered into his kitchen and grabbed a box of cereal. She perched on the end of the couch, eating cereal by the handful and tilting the box toward him in a wordless offer to share. He could most definitely get used to waking up to this.

"Yes." Lilly nodded. "After the hospital."

Scotty put on a pout that was only half fake. "I feel fine." He protested, waving his bandaged hand in the air as proof.

"You're welcome for that, by the way." Lilly added sarcastically. "What is it with you and hospitals?" She asked curiously.

Scotty just shrugged. "Don't like 'em, that's all."

Lilly decided to let it go. After all, they had tomorrow and the day after, and thousands of days after for stories like that. "Well too bad. I'm driving, let's go."

She made a move for the door, but Scotty grabbed her hand from his place on the couch. "I wanna pack." He said with a grin. "I can't wait to move in with you. We can swing by on the way to your place."

Lilly let him draw her into his lap with a huge sigh. "You know how long it takes to pack?" She asked incredulously. "We're talking all your stuff here…"

Scotty stood up, glanced at the baby to make sure she was still sleeping, and led Lilly down the hall silently. He pulled her along by the hand, heading to his closet. Flicking on the light, he waited for Lilly's inevitable reaction.

Upon seeing the inside of his closet, her eyes widened and she looked at him, aghast. "You didn't unpack." She stated matter-of-factly, studying the suitcases he was living out of on his closet floor.

"I did." He corrected, not letting go of her hand. "I was gonna move closer to the precinct. Had an apartment picked out an all… then you came along." He finished with another bright smile.

"I came along." Lilly repeated, squeezing his hand. She thought for a second. Scotty had a point really. It wouldn't take long to rearrange his clothes into transporting order, pack up the necessary cutlery and toiletries that Scotty hadn't already covered, and call a moving van for his limited furniture. The thought of him moving in sooner rather than later warmed her heart and prompted her to agree. "Okay." She said softly.

"Okay what?"

Lilly leaned up to kiss him. "We'll move you out of your place first."

"Knew you'd see it my way." Scotty said with a chuckle. "I'll go get some boxes for the kitchen stuff." He began, but Lilly cut him off with a hand on his chest.

"Actually, you'll rest that hand and take care of our girl, while _I_ pack." She corrected.

* * *

An hour later, all of Scotty's kitchenware was packed away in boxes and stacked near the front door. Lilly wiped the sweat from her brow and looked to the kitchen floor where Scotty was introducing Elizabeth to all the toys he had saved in his house as last resorts for whatever sister called him up and reminded him of the family reunions, where all his nieces and nephews would be expecting gifts.

"I think she likes this one." Scotty called to Lilly, waving a purple hippo up at her with an amused laugh. "Yeah, she does." He added, more to himself than anyone else. He winced as he shifted Elizabeth in his arms. He would never admit it to Lilly, but his hand was really starting to ache, and there was no way he'd be able to drive later on, or lift boxes.

"You look like you're having fun down there." Lilly commented, a hand on her hip and dirt smudged on her nose.

"What you ain't havin' fun?" Scotty asked.

"I'm doing all the heavy lifting here." Lilly retorted darkly, but the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth gave her away. If this was the rest of her life, then damn, it was good. She turned around with a smile and started climbing up the stairs. "I'm going to get your clothes." She called. "And then we can leave."

"Mommy's going to get my clothes." Scotty whispered jovially into his daughter's ear. "Then we're goin' home. Yeah, we are."

From down the hall he heard some clunking, followed by a quiet curse and more loud noises. "Lil, you okay?" He yelled toward his bedroom. When she didn't respond, he continued tickling his daughter. She's fine. He decided. Lilly can handle a couple of suitcases.

Lilly carried one suitcase in each of her hands. Near the door, she stumbled a little. Obviously, she'd underestimated how difficult maneuvering two full sized suitcases out the narrow doorway would be. Before she knew it, she stepped on something pointy and was careening forward. Both suitcases dropped out of her arms as she threw them out to break her fall. Lilly fell over the two steps down into Scotty's living room with a small cry of surprise and before she knew it, she was sprawled on his living room floor. Scotty quickly scooted over by her side.

"What the hell happened?" He asked, helping her upright with his one good hand while balancing Elizabeth over his shoulder. Lilly leaned against with wall with a small grimace.

"I think I twisted my ankle." She said. Then she started to laugh. "This is…" She began, but she was overcome by giggles once again. Lilly laughed until tears appeared in her eyes and she leaned against Scotty's shoulder for support. "… perfect."

"What are we gonna do?" Scotty asked, finding himself starting to laugh with her. He wasn't sure what was funny, but if Lilly was happy, well then so was he.

Lilly tried to stand up and then gave up. Her right ankle was definitely twisted. "Well, now we've both gotta go to the hospital." She said, "And we have no way to get there."

"I could carry you." Scotty offered, but he trailed off at the raise of Lilly's eyebrows and the quick glance toward his injured hand.

"You can barely handle our 10 pound baby." She said with a chuckle. In an instant, she knew what she'd have to do, and she was relieved to find that it didn't scare her as much as she thought it would. "I'm calling Boss." She said defiantly, reaching over to the coffee table for the phone.

She silenced Scotty's confused look and the desire to say something with a finger over his lips. Boss would understand. Boss knew. Boss could help them. She'd explain to Scotty later. With her other hand, Lilly pressed her Boss's speed dial and held the phone to her ear.

"Lil?" Detective Stillman asked. He hadn't expected her or Scotty to be in work today. The only thing he didn't know was whether she'd made the right choice and was currently with Scotty, or if she was wallowing at home. "You okay?" He asked with trepidation.

"Yes and no." She said, and John felt a rush of relief. He could tell just by the happiness in her voice that she was more okay than not, despite what she was saying.

"You chose right?" He asked with a smile, leaning back in his desk chair. He didn't need an answer from her because he already knew, but it was nice to hear her confirm it, sounding happier than he'd ever heard her. "Then what's the problem?" He pressed, upon hearing her cheerful laugh and Scotty's equally buoyant voice in the background.

"Well…" She began. "Me and Scotty, we need to go to the hospital. He probably broke his hand and we were gonna move in together and then I tried to move his damn suitcases on my own and I fell over…" Her eyes trailed to the offending object. "… a plastic ABC building block, and I think I twisted my ankle and I can't drive and…" Stillman cut her off her ramblings with a quiet chuckle.

"I'll be right there."

* * *

Lieutenant Stillman pushed open the door to Scotty's apartment 20 minutes later, feeling his heart warm at the sight of his two young detectives sitting on the floor, a beautiful baby spread out across their laps. "Well aren't you guys adorable?" He asked, alerting them to his presence.

He studied the room around him. Most of Scotty's cupboards had been thrown open, their contents emptied into cardboard boxes stacked precariously by the door, along with every type of child furniture available on the market. Two suitcases lay discarded in the hallway as well as a floor full of baby toys.

"Hey Boss." Scotty said sheepishly. "Thanks for comin'." He got up and placed Elizabeth in her car seat, the one that acts as a carrier outside the car, which he'd managed to put together mostly because it came in one piece. He stood up quickly.

"Valens." Boss nodded. "Looks like you guys need some help." He said, studying Lilly on the floor. With Scotty's help, the two of them lifted her up, acting as her crutches. It took them two tries to help her hop out the door.

Scotty then went back in the apartment to pick up the car seat, throw a few plush toys in with his daughter, and run back outside. The four of them managed to get down the parking lot and Lilly climbed into the backseat gingerly. Scotty strapped in the car seat between him and Lilly, buckling himself in on the other side as John got in the front seat and pulled away from the parking lot.

"So." The older detective began as he navigated the way to the hospital. "You two are movin' in together, huh?"

Lilly reached for Scotty's hand. "We are." She confirmed confidently. Her smile faltered a bit as she added, "Is this gonna be okay, with IAB and all?"

"You let me worry about that." John said, meeting both their eyes through the rearview mirror.

When they reached the hospital, Scotty immediately left through the side door in search of a wheelchair for Lilly, leaving Boss's car idling by the front door.

"Don't screw this up, Rush." He said slowly and carefully, watching Lilly retuck the blanket around her daughter.

"Boss?" She asked hesitantly.

"I mean… don't ever let 'em go." He smiled at her, "For anything."

She nodded. "Yes, Boss."

* * *

**ONLY ONE CHAPTER TO GO! Might as well leave a review right? I mean it won't hurt anyone... Love you guys. **


	7. This Corner Of The World Is Ours

**I had so much fun writing this chapter. It's all fluff, naturally. I hope you guys love it. And don't forget to leave me a review if you do (or don't) like it and want to say good job (or bad job). **

**Disclaimer: Today, when I woke up, I decided that instead of going for a jog, I would eat ice cream. Don't ask me why. When my husband woke up, he saw me at the kitchen and laughed, and then we both just... ate ice cream. ... Uhhm.. oh yeah, I don't own Cold Case, please don't sue me.  


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**Chapter 7: This Corner Of The World Is Ours**

Detective John Stillman drove away from the hospital a little while later, after making sure that Scotty could handle the baby carrier with one hand and Lilly would be alright in her wheelchair. As he made his way back to the precinct, where a case was waiting on his desk, he picked up his phone, getting Jeffries, Miller, and Vera on the other line in an instant.

Seeing all those boxes on the floor and the pure anticipation on Scotty and Lilly's faces had given him an idea… and since he knew the speed of hospital staff, he figured he had all day to pull it off.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Scotty maneuvered around the crowds in the emergency room of Philadelphia General Hospital, three bottles of apple juice tucked under his arm. This was part of the reason he absolutely hated hospitals. There was an inbred antiseptic smell, along with people who didn't seem capable of any emotion but desperation. Still, there wasn't anything today that could take away the swell of happiness he felt when he saw Lilly and Elizabeth - they still hadn't settled on the proper nickname - in the corner of the waiting room.

"Apple juice is all they have." He grumbled good-naturedly, handing her the drink and eying her ankle critically. It didn't sit well with him that they'd given her only a pair of crutches and an order to stay off the foot for a few days.

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying about me." She ordered. She didn't even have to look up to know what he was thinking.

"Can't do that, Lil." He insisted in reply.

Before he could continue, a tired looking nurse walked into the waiting room and, squinting slightly at her clipboard, called out, "Scotty Vay-lens? Is there a Scotty Vay-lens here?"

"I'll be right back." Scotty said, pressing a kiss to Lilly's head before jogging off after the impatient nurse.

The nurse led him to one bed of the ten that were in a line. She motioned for him to sit down and then left without a backward glance. Scotty shifted uncomfortably on the exam table. Here was another reason he hated hospitals. People bustled around without bothering to tell you anything.

It was twenty minutes before a harried looking male doctor, followed by the nurse from earlier, pulled the curtain back to reveal a very annoyed Scotty. "Hey doc." Scotty implored. "Couldn't make this quick, could you?"

"We'll see." The doctor told him to lay his hand flat, which Scotty did with some difficulty and he began to clean the wound.

Not wanting to pay particular attention to the sharp instruments the doctor was using, Scotty let his eyes wander around the busy ER. His gaze fixed on the nurse, a short black woman with an annoyed look on her face. For a moment, Scotty was going to demand that she stop looking at him like he was a child, but he was saved the trouble because she spoke first.

"Hope she was worth it." She commented softly, glancing at his bruised knuckles.

Scotty, who was in a considerable amount of pain because of whatever the doctor was doing to him, shot her a dark glare. "Don't know what you're talking about."

She snorted, as though having seen this way too many times, and Scotty supposed she had. "You think you're the first idiot to decide the best thing to do is punch things when their woman's giving him trouble?" She asked incredulously.

Before Scotty could come up with a retort, the young doctor spoke up. "Martha." He said tiredly. "Stop giving him a hard time." Scotty could tell from the slight twinkle in his eyes that this kind of banter from the nurse wasn't rare. Scotty shot him a grateful glance.

"Hey, I've been there, man." The doctor said sympathetically, reaching for a roll of gauze. "You're going to need a splint for the sprained ligaments, and you're lucky nothing's broken."

Scotty sighed in relief, glad that he would be able to get out of here soon. "Thanks, doc."

The doctor nodded wearily. "Next time, do yourself a favor, and aim for a pillow, not a wall." He smiled knowingly before picking up his chart and disappearing around the corner.

Slightly stunned by how much doctors and nurses could gather from the physical injuries, Scotty stuck his newly splinted hand into the sleeve of his jacket with some difficulty and walked back out into the living room. He smiled at the sight of Lilly trying to feed Elizabeth apple juice through a straw and laughed when it spilled all over the baby's clothes. Lilly frowned, looking up.

"Thank God, you're back." She studied his splint. "Nothing broken then?"

"I'll be good as new in a few days." Scotty confirmed with a smile. "What do you say, we call Boss and have him pick us up."

Lilly nodded, after spending the better part of the whole day sitting in the hospital, she was more than happy to go home. With a slight groan, she remembered the boxes that still remained to be moved. Maybe they would just spend another night at Scotty's place.

* * *

Lieutenant Stillman smiled as he pulled up the front door of the hospital, seeing Lilly, Scotty, and their baby waiting patiently at the curb. He honked and Scotty waved happily before picking up the baby carrier. He made his way toward the car, Lilly trailing behind, trying to get used to her new crutches. John could tell that she'd be off them way sooner than the doctors advised.

"Uh, Boss?" It was ten minutes later when Lilly realized they were traveling in the wrong direction. "Where are we going?" She asked.

"Home." John replied simply, smiling mysteriously and hoping that neither of them asked any more questions. He really didn't trust himself not to give away the surprise. "You'll see."

Scotty reached around the baby car seat to wrap an arm, his good arm, around Lilly's shoulders. He gave her a reassuring smile. Their boss was probably just taking a short cut, the man had been a cop all his life, longer than either of them, he probably knew some good short cuts, Scotty mused confidently. And even if he wasn't, more time just sitting still, next to Lilly and his daughter… well damn, what more could a man ask for?

Lilly must have drifted off in the warmth of her boss's back seat, because one minute she had closed her eyes and leaned against Scotty's arm, and the next the car was pulling to a stop… on her driveway. As she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, she was vaguely aware of Scotty speaking softly to her right.

"Uh, Boss?" He ventured tentatively. "This ain't -"

"We're supposed to be at Scotty's apartment." Lilly cut in, shooting him a apologetic glance. The sun was starting to set. Would it be too much to ask to sleep in a real bed tonight?

Scotty scowled at her. "What Lil means, Boss. Is thanks for drivin' us all around today, but-"

Once again, Scotty was unable to finish his sentence, this time cut off by Stillman. "Would you two just quiet down and get out of the car?" Damn it, they should've sent Vera or Miller to do this. How did he get stuck with dealing with them?

Scotty and Lilly shrugged simultaneously before glancing at each other with confusion and began unbuckling their seatbelts. Within a few seconds, they were approaching her front door. Lilly felt more than a little apprehension. She hadn't been home in 3 or 4 days. Did she remember to clean her house before she left? Or was that old takeout still lying abandoned on her kitchen table? She slid the key into the lock, not knowing what to expect.

Lieutenant Stillman took a step back, allowing Scotty to stand next to Lilly as she fumbled nervously with the latch on her door. He looked equally confused. A moment later, when she threw open the door, Scotty was speechless, and judging by the sharp intake of breath from next to him, Lilly was equally stunned.

In all the years Lilly had stood at the threshold of her house, all the times she'd come home after a long day, a long run, or a long trip… never, _ever _had she seen it so full of … love. Her whole house was lighted, dusted, and cleaned. But more importantly, Nick, Will, Kat, and even Veronica, stood beaming from her living room, all wearing similar satisfied grins. Lilly felt tears prick her eyes as she hobbled into her house as best as she could on her crutches.

When Scotty stepped in after Lilly, bringing Elizabeth with him, he couldn't help but bring his hands up to his mouth, as though trying to stop his jaw from dropping to the ground. Because if ever there was a reason for the metaphorical reaction to surprising things to come true, it would be now, in this moment.

"You guys…" Scotty began weakly. His eyes traveled from one of his colleagues, no friends, best friends, to the next. They must have been busy all afternoon, because Lilly's house was no longer Lilly's house. It was his and Lilly's house. Those were his coasters next to hers on the coffee table, his favorite lamp across from hers, his DVD collection infused with hers, his scrawled grocery list tacked to her fridge with his PPD magnet. "What d'you do?" He couldn't help but ask.

_Stupid, Valens. You should be on your knees thanking them._

Lilly was no more capable of speech than Scotty. "How did…" She began and trailed off. Her house had never looked so lived in, so whole, and it was all because of Scotty. He was everywhere. It was like he'd been living in her house for the past… entire lifetime. In an instant, Lilly knew the answer, and she turned a tearful gaze to her boss.

John stepped forward and put a hand on her back. "Figured you guys could use some help." He mumbled, slightly embarrassed. "I called them."

"An' we spent the afternoon shuttlin' Valens' stuff from his place to here." Kat added. "He's got more hair products than I do. We practically couldn't fit 'em all in your bathroom."

Lilly laughed tearfully, while Scotty shot Kat his best mutinous look, which was significantly diminished because of the sheen of tears over his own eyes. He'd never admit it in a million years, but Kat could say anything at that moment, and it wouldn't matter. Nothing mattered but being home.

Scotty made his way toward the crowd in Lilly's small living room. "I wanna introduce you guys to someone." He said softly. He was vaguely award of Lilly following him, and then they were all gathered in a small circle. "Our daughter…"

"Elizabeth, Valens Rush." Lilly finished triumphantly. She sat down against the back of her couch and set her crutches aside. Tripod and Olivia immediately wound themselves around their new play things as Lilly reached into the baby car seat Scotty had been carrying and scooped up the little girl. "Say 'hi'" She prompted.

Nick and Will looked on slightly uncomfortably, neither having had much experience with the little ones, and Kat shot them a scathing look before taking the little girl from Lilly's arms. "Hi." She cooed, in a dotting, maternal voice that none of them had ever heard before. Veronica beamed as her mother continued talking to what could only be her new little friend. "You wanna see your room?" She asked.

Lilly and Scotty looked up in surprise. "Oh, we ain't done showin' you everything yet." Nick confirmed with a gentle smile.

With a slightly tremulous, but still deeply touched glance at each other, Scotty took Lilly's hand in his and started to help her up the stairs, crutches forgotten. It was a slow process, but soon they found themselves outside her bedroom. _Their _bedroom, Lilly corrected herself silently. She could see his clothes in her closet and even his cell phone charger on the side of the bed she never slept in. Sharing a smile, they made their way toward the guest bedroom, followed silently by the rest of their friends. Kat was still carrying their daughter.

Scotty pushed open the door. He didn't think he could be any more shocked tonight, in fact all the surprises of the world had probably passed him by in the last 48 hours… but he was wrong. All of the baby furniture he'd bought in his haste that night was in this room, fully assembled and arranged. Scotty felt the happy tears pricking his eyes threaten to fall and when he turned to Lilly, he saw that they were already rolling silently down her cheeks.

Attempting to stop his own waterworks, Scotty spoke in a slightly hoarse voice. "How did you guys build the stuff?" He asked, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice. "Me an' Lil spent hours…"

John shrugged. "It really wasn't that hard."

Kat raised her eyebrows incredulously. "We." She gestured at her, Nick, and Will. "Could barely understand the damn instructions. Grandpa Stillman on the other hand…" She trailed off teasingly.

"Watch it, Miller." John admonished playfully.

Lilly laughed, or she sobbed, but it didn't really matter because either way it was a sound of happiness. "Scotty…" She breathed, a huge smile on her face. And without another word she threw her arms around his neck.

Scotty swayed on the spot for a second, trying to keep her upright when she'd all of a sudden decided not to support her own weight anymore. He wrapped one arm tightly around her waist. They were still swaying.

"I'm gonna fall." Lilly laughed, as her balance started to tilt backwards. But immediately, she found three separate hands on her back, steadying her.

"We've got you." Someone said, and she turned her gaze back to Scotty, kissing him fiercely. She sensed his slight discomfort at being surrounded by their friends, but in less than a second, he was kissing her back with equal fervor.

"I love you." He whispered against her lips. "I love you, I love you… love you."

"Okay kids, let's break it up now." John said, faking his best disapproving tone. The kissing couple broke apart immediately, both blushing furiously. He was glad that Scotty and Lil had finally come to their sense. But there was really a limit, at how much him, a father basically, could see without wanting to take action. "Why don't you guys take Valens downstairs and get him a beer before he faints." He instructed Nick and Will.

Cheerfully, the two other male detectives steered the younger, still stuttering detective toward the kitchen. Kat took Veronica's hand, readjusted Elizabeth in her arms and decided to follow, with a slight nod toward her boss, leaving Lilly and John alone upstairs.

It was a moment before he spoke, putting a reassuring hand on Lilly's shoulder. "I'm proud of you." He said quietly.

Lilly let out a shaky laugh. "For what, completely messing up your team?" She asked, sarcastic but smiling.

John ducked his head to meet her gaze. "For making the right choice. You're gonna have a family Lil, 'cause you chose right." He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"You have a family too Boss, " Lilly added with a smile. "Us." She looked to the side for a second, not entirely sure how to word what came next, but knowing exactly what she wanted to say. "Elizabeth already has a grandpa, from me and Scotty, and I know you've got a daughter and a grandson too…" She trailed off hesitantly, "But if you want-"

John cut her off. "I'd be more than happy to let her call me Grandpa Stillman." He quoted Kat from earlier, earning a brilliant smile from Lilly. "After all, you can't have too much family."

Lilly nodded, hearing the peels of laughter from her kitchen, the sounds of _her_ family. She couldn't contain the laugh any longer. God, this day had been filled with so much happiness. Laughing type happiness and crying type happiness. She didn't know if she could handle much more without bursting with joy. "Let's go join them downstairs?" She beckoned. And John nodded.

* * *

Scotty sat at Lilly's kitchen table, and if not for the beer he was currently nursing, he would be feeling no different from a suspect in the interrogation room. Nick and Will sat on the other side, staring at him intensely. He wondered who would break the silence first.

"So you and Rush, huh?" Vera began. Scotty had the sneaking suspicion he was either about to be questioned by how _in the hell_ it happened, or given the third degree about what it was like. He wasn't sure what he would prefer.

"Don't get us wrong, we're happy for you." Will said, and Scotty got the impression that they'd rehearsed this. He almost felt a trickle of sweat meander its way down his back and his good hand clenched around the cold beer.

"-but if you ever do wrong by her, " Nick cautioned seriously. _Okay, that's it. Am I, being threatened?_

"We'll kick your ass nine ways to Sunday." Will concluded with a triumphant touch of finality. _Shit. I am._

"Hey, man…" Scotty began weakly. "Me and Lil are good. No need to be, kickin' anyone's ass."

"Make sure it stays that way." And Scotty could tell from Nick's words that it was all good between them, even if they were threatening him. This was just something they had to do. Big brother sort of thing or whatever.

Scotty inclined his beer toward them before taking a sip. "Yeah. I'm hopin'"

His eyes traveled over to the living room couch, where Lilly had sat down next to Kat, taken Elizabeth from her and hugged her to her chest. John sat down at the kitchen table with them, cracking open his own beer and giving a cryptic smile. Scotty stared at the back of Lilly's head, willing her to turn and look at him, and when she did, he knew. They were home.

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**THE END! Well mostly, except for the epilogue. I'm excited you guys, this is the longest story I've officially finished so far. Anyways, see the button... yeah I know you do... now click it, feedback would be nice. :) **


	8. Epilogue: The Rest Of Our Lives Together

**This is the epilogue you guys. We're jumping ahead two years and don't be worried about the beginning, would I really take away all their happiness now? No way. So yeah, here we are. Update coming soon on No One Has To Know, don't worry. I hope you guys like this. **

**Again, this is TWO YEAR LATER. **

**Disclaimer: Hmm, last disclaimer, might as well go off with a bang huh? If you sued me, the people who owned Cold Case. You'll probably get my little house and some simple possessions, most valuable of which is my laptop. Not worth it.

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**Epilogue: The Rest Of Our Lives Together**

Scotty Valens rode up the elevator toward the Homicide level of the PPD, willing the doors to ding open sooner. When they finally did, he hugged a two year old Elizabeth tighter in his arms and dashed into the bullpen, glancing around him furtively. He spotted his colleagues, gathered around someone's desk and made a beeline toward them.

"Run." He told them urgently. "Lil's on the warpath, so run _now_ if you feel like keepin' your limbs."

Without another word, he disappeared into Interview Room A, and another silent second later, the other detectives knew why. Quickly approaching them from the elevator was Lilly Rush. Make that angry, 7 months pregnant Lilly Rush, sporting a healthy baby bump and red glow in her cheeks.

"Where the hell is he?" She demanded, slamming her hands down on the desk. No one dared lie to her, and Nick, who valued his limbs, thank you very much, pointed silently toward to the interview room. She nodded her thanks and stomped after Scotty.

When she'd disappeared into the room, Will blew out a deep breath, putting down the file in his hands. "Wouldn't want to be Valens right now." He remarked casually.

Nick nodded fervently in agreement while John said, "Anyone know what's going on?" He asked the room in general.

"No idea." Kat shook her head, "But maybe we should go… observe?" She looked around for agreement. "I mean Lil's pregnant and God know what that does to your head. I wanted to kill people sometimes… Valens could be in danger." She reasoned brightly.

Immediately seeing where this was going, Nick agreed. "Oh yeah. It's for his own safety."

"We do owe it to our colleague to make sure nothing bad comes to him." Will finished brightly, leading the way to the observation room, Kat and Nick quick on his heels. With a roll of his eyes, Lieutenant Stillman followed reluctantly. He would've called them out on their blatant attempt to eavesdrop if not for his own burning curiosity.

* * *

Scotty retreated to the back corner of the interview room, realizing too late that he'd effectively backed himself into a corner. He should've just asked her… when he bought it all those months ago he should've just asked her right away, he mused with panic. That way she wouldn't have found it, and chased him, and … yeah. He definitely should've just asked her.

The door banged open and Lilly heaved her belly into the door with some difficulty. Her hair was disheveled, her breathing was quick, and her cheeks were pink. _Damn it, no one told me it'd be this hard to move quickly. _She shut the door sharply behind her and fixed Scotty with a glare.

"Put the kid down Scotty." She ordered. If this came down to violence, she didn't want Elizabeth getting in the way.

Scotty studied her wearily. In the past 7 months, he'd learned that hormones could make a person, namely Lilly, do anything. If using his daughter as a shield made him a lesser man, well so be it. "No way, Lil. Uh-uh. Not 'til you lose the homicidal look."

Lilly huffed and gestured to Elizabeth. "C'mere sweetie." She called, putting on a smile. She frowned when Scotty held the girl tighter. Time to play the trump card. "Uncle Nicky's got doughnuts." She teased in a sing songy voice.

With a shriek of pleasure, Elizabeth jumped out of Scotty's arms. As much as a two year old girl could, she ran toward the door. Before she could reach up for the door knob, Lilly gave her a reassuring smile and ruffled her dark blond locks. Lilly helped her open the door, surprised to find Nick waiting just outside the door, a smile on his face.

"Could you…" She began needlessly.

"Yeah." He agreed. "C'mere, Bug." Nick teased, scooping the little girl into his arm easily and blowing a raspberry into her neck. Satisfied, Lilly turned around and shut the door behind her.

When she turned back to Scotty, all traces of laughter were gone from her features.

"Lil." He implored. "Lemme explain."

"Don't talk Valens." Lilly snapped. Scotty fell silent, the last name was never a good sign, he'd learned in the two years they'd been dating and living together. "I'm talking now."

"Okay." Scotty agreed, wearily putting the table between them.

Lilly reached into the pocket of her maternity pants, fumbling around for the object that had spurned all this… near car chase, bolt up to the bullpen thing. "Explain this." She demanded, slamming a small velvet box onto the table between them.

"It's-It's-" Scotty faltered slightly. How the hell was he supposed to explain the fact that he'd been practically sitting on this for the past year, too scared to…

"I know damn well what it is." Lilly burst out. "What I'm wondering is when you got it."

Scotty sighed, running a hand through his hair and leaning against the back wall, as far away from the blazing blonde as he could be. Did she really want to know how long it'd been? Would it help matters? Probably not, but Scotty figured she deserved the truth. "A-about a year ago?" He ventured nervously.

Lilly gawked at him. "A year?" She repeated disbelievingly. Sighing in frustration, she leaned her hands against the table between them, the way she used to before they decided she was too pregnant to be facing possible doers. "What the hell am I missing here?"

"Missing?" Scotty paced around the small room with slight agitation. "What do you mean?"

"Sit down." Lilly admonished, pointing harshly toward the chair. "You're making me dizzy."

Scotty saw no choice but to comply, sitting down uncomfortably in the chair usually reserved for suspects. Which, thinking logically, is what he was in this moment. Lilly sighed with satisfaction and stood up, placing a hand over her swollen belly. "Let me get this straight. You've had the ring for a year."

Scotty nodded.

"When were you planning on letting me know?" Lilly asked sarcastically. "Maybe in the form of a proposal?"

Scotty shrugged helplessly. "I wanted… I was gonna wait…"

"Until we both got old?" Lilly supplied.

"No." Scotty protested.

"Or were you never going to ask, planning a quick departure. You got a life I don't know about, Valens?" Lilly asked as she narrowed her eyes.

"No!" Scotty insisted loudly. "God, Lil. I love you."

"Well you have a funny way of showing it. Here I was, thinking I've been crazy. That even though we've been dating for two years, have one kid, and another on the way, you still didn't want me." Lilly had dropped the detective façade and Scotty could hear the slight hurt bleeding into hervoice. Maybe he was being temporarily released from the suspect role.

"Lil," Scotty whispered, rising from his seat and approaching her. Lilly crossed her arms and turned away from him. Ignoring her defensive demeanor, Scotty wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her neck. "I love you more than you could ever believe…"

* * *

"You're daddy's a _really_ stupid man, you know that?" Kat whispered to Elizabeth, who was sitting in a chair in the back of the observation room. She earned a doughnut filled mumble from the two year old, who hadn't yet started to speak many coherent words. Internally, she was completely sympathetic to Lilly's plight. Now Rush was normally a pretty guarded person, and any relationship stuff she kept to herself… but ever since Scotty had stepped into her life, Kat had listened to more worried tirades than she could count. Especially regarding the marriage thing.

"Don't use that kind of language near the kid." Will admonished. _C'mon Valens…_ He rooted for him inside his head. Lilly and Scotty were a match made in heaven, so to speak, there was no way Scotty couldn't make this right with a bit of begging and a lot of apologizing.

"Look at you, all concerned." Kat teased.

"I don't get it." Nick complained, his head practically pressed to the one way glass. "So the man didn't ask her to marry him in time. So what? We're allowed to take our time with this sorta stuff aren't we?" Nick just didn't understand what the big deal was. And even if it was worth a slap or two, it _definitely _didn't warrant them bursting into the precinct at this time of night.

Kat snorted. "Says the man who never got up the nerve to propose, had to make his girl do it instead."

"Hey I woulda done it if she gave me the chance. That's what I'm sayin' here." Nick protested valiantly, on behalf of all men who hadn't proposed the second they got the ring.

"A girl's gotta have reassurances." Kat said with a roll of her eyes, as though it was the simplest thing she could imagine. "Especially when she's huge, pregnant, cranky, and sore. And Lil's all of those things." She reminded them of the joys of pregnancy, picking up Elizabeth and joining the rest of them up against the glass.

"This isn't right." Their boss reasoned with a degree of guilt. "We shouldn't be spying on them. Obviously Lilly isn't going to hurt anybody…" He gestured toward the blonde, who had sat down on the edge of the table in defeat.

"Wasn't she screaming at him a moment ago?" Nick asked.

"He definitely wasn't doing that a moment ago." Will remarked, as they watched Scotty wrap his arms around her and speak into her neck. "Maybe we should get the Bug out of here."

"Nah. Valens ain't gonna do anything." Kat confirmed. "No way Lil lets him until he pops the question."

* * *

Scotty searched for the right words to explain why he had stalled so long, ultimately resulting in Lilly finding the ring in the pocket of his pants, and starting this whole… whatever this was. Now that she no longer looked like she wanted to kill him, maybe it would be safe to start explaining.

"I wanted to." He started. "You got no idea how bad I wanted to just ask you, Lil."

"So why didn't you?" Lilly whined, leaning back into his chest. Despite how much she wanted to be mad at him, it was hard carrying a baby around in her, and his presence meant welcome relief for her aching feet.

"I just wanted, I dunno I guess I wanted it to be special." He said softly. _That the best you can come up with? Great, Valens. Perfect. _

Lilly seemed to agree. "Damn it, Scotty." She proclaimed softly. "I thought…" She trailed off.

"Thought what?" Scotty asked.

Lilly paused for a second. Might as well lay it all on the table, especially now that she'd chased him down here and forced him into this conversation. "Remember Elizabeth's first birthday?" She asked suddenly.

"Yeah." Scotty lapsed into happy visualizations. "The Pudding Party."

Lilly nodded. "We wanted a huge gathering of every single person we loved for our daughter turning one. Sent out invitations, the whole nine yards. It took you a month to talk me into it."

"We wanted it to be special." Scotty concluded softly. He thought he could see where she was going with this, maybe.

"And then in the end the power went off in the whole city." Lilly said softly. "We had 40 people in our little place, and no food 'cause… well no electricity, no food."

"Only thing we could eat was chocolate pudding," Scotty continued for her. "'Cause Lissa loved it so damn much we had a cupboard full. And it was special."

"I was all worried, and you said that it was still special just because of the people all around us, and how much we love each other, and how much we love her." Lilly let out a shaky breath. "So, then why is this different?"

Scotty sighed. Truth time. The whole, bare, God honest, truth. The type of truth that only comes out when you're drunk off your ass or being questioned by the love of your life, who also happens to be Philly's sharpest murder cop, even 7 months pregnant. "I was scared you'd say no."

Lilly turned in his arms and gave him an incredulous, disbelieving, are-you-really-so-stupid, look. "Say no?" She repeated. "What the hell gave you that idea?"

Scotty opened his mouth to argue, to say that just the fact that she was _Lilly Rush_ Goddamnit, meant she was a complete mystery to him; that she could possibly say no, but nothing came out. His mind fixated on one thing. "You mean, you'd say yes?" He asked.

"No shit, Valens." She rolled her eyes, but the teasing tone of her voice told him that it was just that, teasing.

"Okay." He agreed haltingly. "We'll go home, light candles, I'll… think up some romantic speech an' all. We'll do it right, Lil."

Before he finished his offer, she started shaking her head. "Just ask me, Scotty." She implored.

_Here? Now? What the-? Shut up and ask her, you coward._

Scotty fumbled for the black velvet box long forgotten by both of them. "Should I get down on one knee?" He asked.

Lilly laughed. "If you do that, you probably won't be able to see my face over the baby bump."

He chuckled, more out of nervousness than amusement, and all of a sudden Lilly was feeling the same fluttering in her chest. This was really it. The rest of their lives that they'd dreamed about for the last two years. It could start today with one short question and an even shorter answer.

"Lil." Scotty began quietly. "When I met you almost ten years ago, I thought you were such a ball bustin' pain in the ass." _Just let me finish._ He thought frantically as Lilly frowned at him.

"I had no idea that you would become who you are to me now. I had no idea that I'd fall so hard for you, that you'd give me a family, that you'd make me crazy wantin' you all the time." He continued, doing, in Lilly's opinion, much better than his opening offer.

"An' so." Scotty drew in a deep breath. "Seems kinda fittin' that we're standing almost in the exact position we first met, only we're completely different people."

"Who am I now?" Lilly couldn't help but ask, the tears beginning to cloud her vision.

Scotty grinned. He had an answer for this one. "Life. You are my entire damn _life_ Lilly Rush, an' you got no idea how happy it'd make me if you'd be my wife." He popped open the little black box, revealing the beautiful diamond solitaire he'd picked out months ago.

Lilly stared at the ring, completely mesmerized by the way it caught the light in the room and refracted it all over the place. She'd been so livid about the fact that he had the ring, and decided to let her stew in her insecurities for a year, that she hadn't actually seen it before.

"Lil?" Lilly's eyes snapped back up to his face. _Shit Rush._ She realized that she hadn't answered the question she'd been practically begging him to ask.

"Yeah." She whispered. "God Yes. Scotty. Yes. Yes. Yes, I wanna marry you."

Scotty grinned, and then he couldn't help but get down on his knee to slip the ring onto her delicate finger. Lilly ran a hand through his dark hair, deciding right then that she couldn't spend another second not staring into his eyes. With some difficulty, she shifted her weight and lowered herself down on her knees across from him. She leaned in, fully prepared to kiss him as much as she could without passing out, but before they lips could meet, a delighted, gurgling laugh interrupted them.

Lilly laughed, letting her head drop to his shoulder. "I'm gonna kill them." She said, waving at their reflection in the mirror, knowing that all their colleagues were watching on the other side.

"You'd think if those idiots were gonna spy, they'd know enough to keep Elizabeth quiet." Scotty chuckled.

The door opened then, just a crack, and their daughter toddled into the room. Lilly caught a glimpse of a large, white hand giving her a slight push, and then the door snapped shut. "Yeah, he better run." She muttered to Scotty. "C'mere Bug."

Elizabeth flashed them both a smile and then the three of them, or make that four of them, as Scotty placed a hand on Lilly's growing belly, were caught in a hug, limbs entangling and cheeks pressed together.

"I love you." Scotty said, kissing Elizabeth's forehead and tangling his fingers in Lilly's hair.

Lilly smiled, hugged her daughter closer and rested her forehead on Scotty's. From the other side, she felt Scotty put an arm around both of them. It was a three way hug, Scotty and Lilly on their knees, Elizabeth's height. "I love you too." She whispered, to her family.

"Wuv…" Elizabeth chanted, her small hand splayed on her chest. "You." Her sticky finger found Lilly's nose. "You." Now Scotty's. " An' you." Lilly's baby bump. She giggled in delight.

* * *

**): I'm sad it's really over now. I had so much fun with this, even though it didn't turn out exactly the way I planned. Wait, nevermind I didn't have a plan. So I guess it's okay then! If you read this story, now would be a great time to leave me a review (or some criticism). If you have left me a review in a previous chapter, give yourself a BIG hug, and then go leave another one. :D **

***Feel free to ignore what's written below***

**This has nothing to do with the story and my imploring you to review, but writing has become such a big part of my life that I thought I'd share... I'm gonna have a baby! Yep, me and my lovely, albeit quite clumsy, husband are expecting our firstborn in April. I'm completely excited, and a little nervous, and since I'm lacking a gender for the baby, I've affectionately nicknamed him or her 'Bug', for now anyways. :D **

**Til next time,  
Jess AKA DreaminDaze. **


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